Unchain Me
by sUmMeRiTh
Summary: He was sick of it, sick of being Shannon's puppet. Yet he didn’t want Sayid to have her either. She was his burden, and he couldn’t stand the thought of her being with anyone else. CHAPTER EIGHT UP.
1. What's Real

**Unchain Me**

**_Summary: "I don't remember the island because there is no island to remember. None of those people exist; it's just you and me. And it always will be." _**

**_A/N: Combining two ideas. I'm not sure where I'm going with this but it'll probably only be a few chapters, depending if anyone likes it lol. I was just watching "…In Translation" & "Numbers" and I thought of a few scenarios that could happen when some characters are left out. _**

Disclaimer: If I owned Lost, Boone wouldn't have died, Sayid would never have spoken to Shannon, Sawyer would still be that sarcastic asshole who punched everyone that I loved so much, and Evangeline would only be shown every 3 to 4 episodes. Clearly, it's not mine.

**_Chapter One: What's Real _**

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_"It's all shallow and all so appealing _

_I'm up to my ankles and I'm drowning anyway_

_In a sea of _

_Sarcastic faces, familiar places _

_Everything looks quite the same here…"_

_"Only One" – Lifehouse _

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_I opened my eyes. I was in a bath filled with warm water and rose petals, in the dark, and he was under me, kissing my neck. I blinked a few times and ran my hands through his hair, pulling his head to mine. I missed him like crazy, I missed _this.

_A few minutes later I pulled away from him, letting him kiss my neck again as I finally thought rationally. How was this possible? My eyes wildly scanned the room. He didn't notice my body tense up. Okay. I've been here before, so that much is okay. I used to live here. But this isn't a memory, because he'd never been here. I'm not drunk, and he doesn't taste like alcohol, which is weird because whenever we've been together in the last year or so, at least one of us is drunk. Usually it's me. _

_But what about the island? Had we been rescued, had we bought my old apartment in London? Had I blocked everything out somehow? Did he remember the island? "Hey," I said, putting a hand on his chest to stop him before leaning both my elbows on him. He blinked at me in confusion. I swallowed, unsure of what to say, also confused but for a different reason than him. "Okay, I… What's going on?" _

_He blinked a few more times, "Uh, what do you think, Shannon?" _

_I stared at him, and rubbed my forehead, "Sayid," I murmured, thinking maybe that would help him help me. _

_"Who?" he asked. I stared at him again. No way. _

_"Sayid," I said more firmly. "You know–from the island?" _

_"What island, Shan?" he asked, slightly irritated yet managing to sound like he thought I was crazy but humoring me, as he leaned his pretty head back onto the bathtub. _

_It was my turn to blink at him, "Are you saying… you don't remember?" _

_"Remember? Remember what, Shan?" _

_"Locke! Or Jack, or–or Claire, or Sawyer, or Charlie, or–or Sayid! Or anybody!" I said wildly. _

_"Shannon, I don't know those names. Were you dreaming?" _

_I glared at him, "No You know them! I can't believe this–you don't remember the island? How about that kid Walt? Or–or his dad Michael, or Kate, or that Korean couple? Or that guy, what's his name… Hurley? How could you not remember the island?" _

_He stared at me with those gorgeous eyes._ Focus Shannon, focus. Island. Right._ "Shan, I don't remember the island because there is no island to remember, at least not with those people… What did they look like?"_

_"Boone!" I cried, exasperated. He just looked at me, waiting for me to answer. I sighed. "Oh, what_ever_. Claire–she's pregnant, and she's Australian. Jack's a doctor, Sawyer's an asshole, and so is Kate when I think about it. Sayid, he's from Iraq and you never liked him, because he likes me. Locke, he's this creepy old guy who you keep leaving me for, and–" _

_"Okay, now I know it was a dream. If we _were_ on an island, Shan, I'd never leave you." _

_"Yeah, well, you did. And it wasn't a dream, Boone." _

_"Fine," he grunted, "How exactly did we get on this 'island'?" _

_"We were on a plane. From Sydney to LA. And the plane crashed on Craphole Island in the middle of God-knows-where. We've been there for three weeks, nearly a month, how are you not remembering this?" _

_"Sydney, Sydney where?" _

_"Australia." _

_His body relaxed. I'd somehow managed to forget the positions we were in, so caught up in my disbelief. "Well, that settles it Shan. I've never been to Australia." _

_I stared at him, and said forcefully, "Yes. You. Have." He just stared right back at me. "You came to get me." I added as I remembered something else. "We must have been rescued, but… No, Boone, you… you died." My body shook as images flooded my memory and I choked out sobs. _

_He shook his head and wrapped his arms around me, "Shan. Dream, it was a dream. I'm right here, I'm okay. So are you. There was no island. None of those people exist; it's just you and me. And it always will be. I'm never leaving you." _

_He wiped the tears and water off my cheeks and I blinked back the rest of my tears, "You're okay," I repeated softly, staring into his beautiful eyes. I shook away the remnants of the island, the memories of the people I now had no choice but to class as my friends, and kissed him with all my strength. _

_We (amazingly) managed to roll over and now I was under him, still kissing him as the water sloshed over my face. It had been so long since I'd been in a bath. I pulled away for a second and looked at Boone, his eyes opened and he gave me his puppy dog look before his whole expression changed. His body tightened and his eyes slowly lost that color I adored so much and blazed red. He growled in a voice that wasn't his, "I'll teach you to do that to me. I saw what happened with you and Sayid, Shannon, I was watching you. What, did you think I wouldn't find out?" _

_"What–are you talking about?" I gasped, struggling as he pinned me against the bath. "We only kissed. That was it. And you said you didn't know Sayid! That it was a dream! Boone!" I cried. _

_"Why would I say that? I saw you, Shannon." He said calmly, his weight pressing onto me. _

_"So what!" I exploded. "It was just a kiss!" _

_His eyes turned a deeper red, ""You are such a bitch Shannon, I don't know why I put up with it, so guess what? I'm sick of this, I'm sick of it Shan." He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me underwater. _

Oh God oh God oh God oh God, _I thought as I slid under,_ what is he doing? This isn't Boone. Who is this freak and what happened to my Boone?

He won't kill me. Calm Shannon, calm. _I wheezed for air and choked in a mouthful of water. Our bathwater._ Gross._ I struggled to come up for air but he wouldn't let me._ He's not going to kill me. He can't._ But apparently he could. I was starting to black out. I couldn't see, couldn't breathe, my heartbeat was erupting in my ears. "Boone!" I strained to cry but all that came out were a mouthful of bubbles._

_I saw his eyes return to normal, his face look like his again. I saw him lift my lifeless body up in his arms. I heard him whisper, "Shannon? What… What have I done? Shannon, breathe…" I saw him try to do CPR, but he still hadn't gotten that right. I saw him, my savior, my killer, give up, I saw him clutch my body to his and I saw his body heave as he cried. _

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* * *

_I sat up with a gasp. "What the hell was that?" I muttered angrily. I slumped back against my 'pillow'. Shit. His voice filled my head, _"Shan. Dream, it was a dream." _Yeah, yeah it was. I looked around my little shelter that was just about built. That I'd built all on my own–well, okay, with Sayid's help–because my good for nothing stepbrother was too busy traipsing through the forest with his little jungle buddy. 

What _was_ that? I wondered as I panted, still in fear. I abandoned that thought as I tried to get my breathing back to normal; the last thing I wanted was an asthma attack while I was alone. After my breathing was under control, and I'd convinced myself that it was only a dream, and that I was still on the island, I laid back and thought about it, remembering every detail.

_"No, Boone, you… you died." My body shook as images flooded my memory and I choked out sobs._

That didn't make any sense. Just about everything else we'd talked about in the dream was true, and I could even make sense of him wanting to kill me. Well, sort of. But why would I say that he had died on this island? He hadn't died… Had he? I blinked a few times, and sat up. I hadn't seen him for days. But he'd talked to Sayid. Yeah. I relaxed, and retraced my steps that day. Locke said that he hadn't known where Boone was. _How was that possible?_ I jumped out of my makeshift bed, and tore up the beach, in the dark, running to what used to be mine and Boone's place on the island till I'd 'moved out'.

Finally I got there. He'd put up some sort of plastic around it, so it kind of looked like my shelter. A crappier version. I tilted my head sceptically, and poked my way in. At first I thought it was empty, and my eyes widened, my breathing irregular, until I noticed he was bunched up along a side. I breathed a sigh of relief as I dropped onto my knees beside him, and brushed my fingers along the side of his face. I hadn't been this close to him for days, weeks. I tried to figure out whether he was cold, or if that was just my fingers. I ran my hand along his bare bicep, and found it freezing. He stirred in his sleep and I sighed in relief again. "Boone." I whispered.

His eyes opened and he raised a hand to rub them, "Shannon?" he asked, his voice thick from sleep. "Hey–what's going on–what time is it?"

I smiled sadly, "It's the middle of the night. I'm sorry I–I shouldn't have came." I moved to leave but he stopped me.

"Don't." He said, raising his arms behind his head. "Talk to me."

I sighed, and clicked my tongue in annoyance, but sat back down, "You don't want to hear me."

He looked away. "Yeah I do."

"No, you–Boone–" I moved his arm, turning him to face me. "You've been avoiding me for days. Like, a week, maybe more."

"So what?" he asked, his eyes flashing as he hoisted himself up onto his side. "What do you care?'

I glared at him, "Don't be stupid."

He flopped back onto his back, "Aaand now I'm stupid."

"No, you're _being_ stupid. I'm not some uncaring, unfeeling bitch. I do have feelings, Boone."

"I know that, Shannon–" he tried to interrupt me.

"I guess you've gotten what you wanted," I said softly.

"And what would that be?" he asked, trying (and failing) to sound irritated.

I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapped my arms around them, rested my chin on top, and stared away from him, "You hurt me."

"Shannon–"

"_Really_ hurt me. And not just once. Over and over. And you knew what you were doing, that you were doing it, cause you did it on purpose." I sniffed. "Kinda like karma, right? Like… Planned karma."

"I didn't plan to hurt you, Shannon."

"Yeah. Sure." I wondered why in the hell I'd even brought it up. I hadn't even admitted to myself that he had hurt me, and now I was just telling him what he already knew, probably looking like such a loser, too. I moved, again, to leave. He reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me back down.

"Don't go," he said quietly, and then carefully added, "Maybe–maybe I was avoiding you on purpose, Shannon. But I never thought that it would hurt you. I just–I didn't–" he shook his head slightly, blinking, as if unable to explain it. "I guess I thought you wanted your alone time with Sayid."

I glared at him. "Don't make that decision for me. Why do you think I'd want to lose you just to have him?"

"Have you given me any reason to think anything else?"

"Oh, _please_, Boone! The _only_ reason Sayid and I even started hanging out together was because you left me for Locke! I had to make friends with _some_one, didn't I?"

"Oh, right, _friends_," he scoffed. "Is that what you call it? Shit, Shannon, can I be your friend?"

I crossed my arms over my chest, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

His eyes narrowed, "I saw what happened with you and Sayid, Shannon. I was watching you. I saw you guys making out, and don't _try_ to tell me that was friendly."

"I–It was just a–a kiss." Fear rose up through my back, up my throat. That was exactly what he said in my dream. _"I saw what happened with you and Sayid, Shannon. I was watching you."_ It made me disconnect from myself, my eyes grew so wide and still sitting I backed away from him, scuffling into a corner.

He interrupted himself and asked gently, "Shannon? What's wrong?" He sat up and edged toward me, and I frantically realized I'd cornered myself. He placed a hand on my arm.

"D-d-don't touch me–leave me alone!" I stuttered, shaking.

"Shannon!" He said. "It's me, I'm not gonna hurt you, I don't want to hurt you. Talk to me." I looked away, and he said sharply, "Shannon!"

And I couldn't help it, the tears spilled as I turned away from him.

"Shannon!" he said again. "What did I do?" he asked pitifully, and his voice broke my heart.

I squeezed my eyes shut, then forced myself to turn towards him and pry them open. Unwillingly I looked into his eyes, which were that deep mixture of blue with a hint of green that I loved so much. And I relaxed a little. At least they weren't red. _Dream, Shannon. Just a dream,_ I told myself, and I took in a deep breath. He wiped away my tears that had stopped flowing, and I let him take me into his arms. It was different to my dream, because in his arms now I felt safe. Like always.

Minutes passed, and he pulled away from me slightly, once I'd stopped shaking. "So, are you gonna tell me what that was about?" I looked away. "Shan?"

I swallowed, "I–I … It's really dumb." I said, my eyes downcast.

"I don't care."

And so, I relayed the whole dream to him.

He gave me that smirky half grin of his; "We were in a bathtub together, hey? Got some hidden desires, Shan?"

"Did you hear _any_ of the rest?" I asked, annoyed.

"Yeah," he sighed, "It's weird. I've got no idea what that would mean."

"I don't want it analysed, I just–"

"Locke could tell you, though," he continued.

"I'm trying Boone… I'm trying to be close to you or whatever and all you're thinking about is Locke!" I half-yelled.

"Shan," he soothed, smoothing my hair, "Shh. I'm just… I'm trying not to think about it, okay? Because, that really freaks me out, I mean…" he shuddered, and I saw the pain in his eyes, "I mean I…" he swallowed, "I… I just can't describe it; I could never… never kill you. Hell, I can't live without you."

"Can't live with me either, right?" I asked sadly.

"No, I can do that. Can't share you, maybe."

I gave him a small smile. He pulled me close again, and whispered, "You're safe Shannon. In your dream, that wasn't me. So long as I'm around, you'll be fine."

"I know," I murmured, "I–I know. Th-thank you."

He lay down and pulled me down with him. "What are you doing?" I asked. He grabbed a blanket from the side and wrapped it around me.

"Going to sleep," he answered, lying next to me without any cover. I climbed on top of him, spreading the blanket over both of us, then settling my hands and head onto his chest.

"Night, Boone."

His voice contained confusion and amusement, "Night, Shan."

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**_A/N: And that's that. A little neurotic, maybe. Review. Should I do more? Because I haven't written the idea that I got during "Numbers" yet. This chapter kind of sucks, because I didn't have any clue what I was writing, lol. And its short. But now I have a general idea, and next chapter will involve everyone else… There'll be more. If you want it. Tell me what you think. _**

**_Oh, and… Tell me if you want me to do any pairings other than Sayid/Shannon/Boone… Not sure if I can fit the others in but I can try :)_**

**_Review! _**


	2. Pretences And Lies

_**Summary: "I don't remember the island because there is no island to remember. None of those people exist; it's just you and me. And it always will be."**_

_**A/N: Okay. I know that in "Numbers", Hurley talked to Sayid in the nighttime and then went out the next day to find Rousseau. In my story, he waited a day before he left, simply because I need time. This chapter, however, is the morning after the last chapter.**_

_**Sorry it took me so long to update, my computer has big problems. **_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned Lost, Boone wouldn't have died, Sayid would never have spoken to Shannon, Sawyer would still be the lovable, sarcastic asshole who punched everyone, and Evangeline would only be shown every 2 to 3 episodes. Clearly, it's not mine.**_

_**Chapter 2: Pretences and Lies**_

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_"Its all confusingly amusing_

_Bitter and tainted,_

_The picture you painted to me…_

_Just 'cause it's all in your head _

_  
Doesn't mean it has to be in mine_

_Don't believe what you said_

_Still can't get it out of my mind…"_

_"Only One" – Lifehouse._

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Sayid awoke the next morning to a dreary day. The sky was overrun was dark clouds, but he didn't think it would rain for a while, and so he got up to see Shannon. To see if he could help her with anything.**_

Halfway there, he stopped himself. Was he just proving her brother right, by doing this? He thought about it for a moment, coming to the conclusion that what he wanted was to spend time with her, under the pretence of helping.

He looked up at the sky as he continued on his way to Shannon's shelter. It must be mid-morning, he thought. Many of the castaways were awake. He hoped Shannon was, too; he didn't want to wake her. He hoped she was still in her tent.

Sayid gently lifted a corner of the tent, "Shannon?" he asked softly. No answer. His eyes scanned the small space, and found that, aside from Shannon's belongings, it was empty.

He sighed; now he would have to find her. Of course, he could just start work on trying to make a radio for the raft, but without knowing where she was, there would be no use in working. He would just worry about her, unable to focus on anything.

Kate and Sun passed him by quickly, Sayid hated to bother them but he couldn't think of many people who would know where Shannon was, let alone know _who_ she was. And Kate seemed to know where nearly everyone was most of the time. "Excuse me," Sayid stopped them. "Have either of you seen Shannon?"

"I'm sorry--" said Sun timidly. Sayid was still unnerved by hearing this woman speak English.

Kate cut in, "We haven't seen her this morning. She might be with Jack, I guess."

"Why would she be with Jack?" Sayid asked, confused.

Kate shrugged, "Her asthma? I don't know. Where else would she be? She might be at the caves anyway, getting water or something."

Sayid thought about that, "You might be right. Thank you for your time," he said hurriedly before making his way to the caves, keeping an eye out for Shannon and making sure to see any tracks or hints of her through the jungle. There were none.

Sayid remembered how Hurley had interrupted his sleep this previous night with questions of Rousseau. He decided to talk to Jack about this as well. But first, Shannon. Sayid approached Jack, who was busy rearranging the medical area.

"Hey, Sayid." He greeted, looking up.

"Jack. Have you seen Shannon this morning?"

Jack scratched his chin, "Hmm, no, I haven't. But when I think of Shannon, I think of Boone, and I haven't seen him either. You might want to ask Locke."

"Where is Locke?"

"There's a clearing in the jungle up near the beach. I think he sleeps there, because whenever I need to find him, usually that's where he is."

"Thank you, Jack. I will try that." Sayid said gratefully, before launching into an attack about getting Hurley to do his dirty work.

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About fifteen minutes later, Sayid had followed Jack's directions and stumbled upon Locke, who was sorting some wood. "Hiya there," Locke said happily, "Beautiful morning, isn't it?"

"It is going to rain," Sayid objected.

"Beautiful morning," Locke repeated to himself, as if he hadn't heard Sayid. "So." He straightened himself. "What can I do for you?"

"I am looking for Boone, or Shannon. Have you seen either of them?"

"Well, not this morning, no, I haven't. I've been here all morning, and Boone won't be coming by today, I've given him the day off."

"Do you two have a little job company here, or something?" Sayid joked.

"Yes, I suppose you could say something along those lines," Locke replied, which caused Sayid to look thoughtful, and a moment of silence passed between them before Locke rubbed his hands on his pant legs, "So. Is that all?"

"That is all," Sayid said, a bemused expression on his face as he turned to leave.

Locke picked up another piece of wood, and called after the man, "Check in Boone's shelter."

"Of course! Why didn't I think of that before?" Sayid wondered as he left Locke.

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Boone smoothed his hand over Shannon's blonde hair, watching her as she lay asleep on top of him. He was amazed and a little confused by the night's events. Why, after weeks of no contact whatsoever, this had happened. It was all because of her dream, he decided. That dream had freaked him out too, especially the death parts. That he'd killed her, and what they hadn't talked about – that he'd apparently died on the island. He shook his head; momentarily forgetting that his sleeping stepsister was on top of him, thinking that there was no way that he would ever die here.

The sudden movement from Boone shaking his head tipped Shannon slowly off of his body and onto the ground. She woke up, startled. "Where–where am I?" she asked drowsily.

"You had a bad dream," Boone said soothingly, "And you came in here last night."

Shannon stared at him in surprise, "Well, you know I'm not seven, Boone, I can handle nightmares."

Boone sighed, annoyed, as she crawled away from him, "Whatever, Shannon, apparently you can't."

"Shit," she said as she peeked outside, "It's nearly midday, Sayid's probably wondering where I am."

Boone rolled his eyes, "Of course," he said sarcastically, almost angrily.

She tsked, "Well don't you have someplace to be today, too? Doesn't _Locke_ want you?"

"Actually, no," he stood up and so did she, "He gave me the day off."

"Aww, maybe he doesn't like you any more," she said bitchily.

He rolled his eyes again, "I was wrong, you haven't changed. Aren't you leaving?"

She gave him a disgusted look, "Why do you have to be such an asshole?"

His mouth dropped open, "Oh, _I'm_ an asshole? You're a bitch!" He accused.

"Oh, no kidding," she glared at him, "Whatever, I'm going to find Sayid." She nearly left the tent but he called her back.

"I could have turned you away last night," he said quickly, before she left. She turned back to face him, and chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, but you'd never do that."

He sighed, frustrated, "Just go, Shannon."

"I'm so over this," she muttered and leaving him fuming, she stormed out of the tent, straight into Sayid.

"Shannon! Have you been here all morning?" Sayid asked, curious as to why she was in Boone's tent.

"No, my stupid lazy ass brother needed soap. I guess he couldn't bother Locke for some, had to bug me."

"Right," Sayid said, sounding like he didn't really believe her. _Why did she need to be in his tent for that?_

Sayid had barely spoken when Boone came up behind them, continuing their fight, "_You're _over it, Shannon? Why did you _think_ I'd been avoiding you? I'm over your bullsh-" he stopped as he noticed Sayid, and glared at him, "Sayid."

"Boone," Sayid gave him a tight smile, then turned back to her. "Shannon, I was wondering if today you–"

"Actually, I'm gonna be busy for all of today. I'm tanning."

"Oh," Sayid said, disappointed.

"Shannon, the sun isn't even out!" Boone exclaimed.

"Oh, leave me alone!" she cried, and again stormed away, heading towards her own shelter.

"Sweet dreams Shannon!" Boone called after her sarcastically.

Sayid gave him a funny look, "I don't understand; it's the middle of the day. Why would she be sleeping?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess I forgot." Boone lied, "I'm going for a walk, so if you don't mind…"

"Yes, I also have business to attend to. Good day, Boone."

"Yeah, bye," Boone walked away from him, as quickly as he could, down the beach as Sayid turned and went back to the caves, to talk to Hurley.

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_"I'm over your bullshit."_ What did he mean by that? He wasn't even going to _try_ for her any more?

Shannon sat alone, in her shelter, thoughts swimming through her head. She wished that there were someone on this island that she could talk to, anyone. But there was no one who'd understand her relationship with Boone, who wouldn't judge, so there was no one who she wanted to tell. No one would give her advice, anyway. She thought of Locke, he seemed pretty good with the advice. But then, how could she be sure that he wouldn't tell Boone everything she said? There was really only one person who wouldn't tell Boone, or Sayid, and who wouldn't judge at all, because he wouldn't care. She made a face, but decided to talk to him. Sawyer.

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Sawyer was lying in his little shelter, straining to read the book in front of him, and wincing at the noise coming from outside. His head didn't hurt so much today, but each and every noise made him anxious that it would start up again. A pain began to twinge behind his eyebrow and he knew it was useless reading. All he was going to end up with was a headache, and it wasn't as if he hadn't read the book fifty times before. He scowled, and threw it to the side, then lay basking in his dim surroundings, glaring at a random, unknown spot. Until she strode in and sat opposite him, and stared at him, waiting. Waiting for what? He tried to focus on her features in the dim shelter. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever until he cleared his throat.

"Yeah?" she asked.

He gave her an amused look, "You tell me. This my tent, here, precious."

She crossed her arms over her chest and said nothing. He sighed, "Look, Sticks, you don't ever barge into my tent, ever. So there's gotta be a reason for it now. You just tell me why, then we can get over it and move on."

Shannon sighed, and stretched her legs out, "I came to you because I need to talk, and I need someone who's… indifferent, to listen. And I figured that you wouldn't care to judge."

Sawyer tipped his head to the side, "Nice little theory you got there, sugar. What's on your mind?"

"You'll listen to me?" she asked, surprised.

"Hell, aint nothin' else to do to fill up my time! Just," he added as an afterthought, "Don't speak too loud, alright? I get these…headaches."

"Okay," Shannon said, thoughtfully, then paused, "It's a really long story."

"And I'm positively made of nothin' but time, Sticks," he drawled, and leaned back, hands behind his head, finding that he actually wanted to hear what she had to say. Damn, he must be finally losing his mind.

And with that, Shannon launched into her tale. She started from when she was eight, and her father was marrying Sabrina Carlisle, then gave him a short overview of her teenage years with Boone. Then she told him about how, after she moved out, Boone would continuously come to what he thought was her rescue, paying off her boyfriends to leave her. She told him about how her father died, so Boone was no longer _really_ her stepbrother. And then she told him about Sydney, and about how he'd been since the crash. And, finally, she told him about kissing Sayid, and about her dream the previous night. "And now I don't know about anything, how I feel about Sayid, or if I feel anything for Boone," she ended, her ashamed eyes sliding to the ground, waiting for his reaction.

Sawyer scratched his head, trying to come up with an answer, "If you want my opinion… I think you already know how you feel."

Shannon look up at him and narrowed her eyes, "What?"

"You heard me, darlin'. Why would you go into such detail about Metro if you didn't feel _anythin'_ for him?"

"I–I just wanted to explain about–us, to–to you," she sputtered, "It had nothing to do with how I feel about Boone."

"Okay, how about this? Metro's been goin' out with the old man every day, you say?"

"Locke? Yeah," Shannon sighed, disappointed in her step-brother.

"And he's been ignorin' you, after he always gave you attention, right? So what d'you do, hell, in the past gettin' him jealous always worked. So you set your sights on Mohammed. All you're really tryin' to do with Mohammed, here, precious, is get Metro jealous, cause then you get his attention without havin' to reduce yourself to askin' for it," he swallowed. "But that's just my opinion."

Shannon blinked a half dozen times, "I–I don't know…"

"Alright, I can see why you probably don't wanna feel this way. Everyone thinks he's your brother, right?" she nodded. "And I can see why you came to me," he continued, "Bein' from the south, right? You think I'd be used to it." He spoke in a decided tone, and leaned back.

She blinked at him again, "To be honest, that thought never crossed my mind. I just thought you'd be the best, like an… impartial judge… or something."

Sawyer gave her a look.

"What?" she asked, "I'm telling the truth!"

"It's not that, Sticks… I'm tryin' to figure out if all that blinkin' is Morse code for somethin'."

She snorted, "Don't tell me you know Morse code."

He relaxed, "Nah, I don't. Anyway. You think that if you came out and told Metro you like him, love him, want in his pants, whatever it is, he's either gonna reject you, or you'll have a little relationship goin' and everyone here'll think you're both sick." He accused.

Shannon thought about it, "Well… Yeah, you might be right there."

"Of course I am."

She ignored that, "I mean, can you just see the look on Kate's face, if me and Boone showed up at the caves and started kissing? Or, someone like, I don't know, Claire, or–or Jack. Or, oh my God, Sayid. What would they _say_?"

Sawyer shook his head ruefully, "You dug your own grave here, sugar."

"How's that?"

"Well, _you_ told everyone that Metro was your brother. If you'd have thought about it, the first night we crashed, you should have taken him into the jungle, had wild-crazy-jungle sex with him, and told him not to tell anyone that he was even your stepbrother. But nawh. Instead, you go rabbitin' on to anyone who'll listen about your 'stupid brother'."

She let that dawn on her, "Yeah, but… Shit. No, because after we crashed, it was like… it was a tragedy, okay? And at that time I just thought that he'd always be there for me, you know? He'd never given me any reason to think he wouldn't be. And by the time he started going off with Locke, it was too late. Everyone thought they 'knew' he was my brother."

"Then I guess you shouldn'ta run your mouth off about that one, huh, Sticks?"

"Can we please stop talking about what I _should have done_!" she cried. "I didn't, okay!"

Sawyer winced, "Fuck, Sticks. Headaches," he pressed his cool fingers onto his forehead, hoping to stop the headache before it arrived.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

He grimaced, "It's alright." They fell into silence and after a few minutes the slight pain was gone. "Look," he continued. "I aint the best for givin' relationship advice, but the way I see it is you either have to stop whatever it is you got with Mohammed, or tell Metro how you feel. Or both, both would be good, too."

Shannon looked at him, conflicted. "But I… I don't… I don't know if I like Sayid, and I don't know if I only _think_ I have feelings for Boone because he's not giving me any attention."

"Hmm, well, let me tell you this, Sticks. You're a smart girl. Now, from my point of view, I don't particularly favor either of them, so I personally cant see the appeal of either asshole–"

"Boone's not an asshole!" Shannon cried angrily.

Sawyer grinned in triumph, "See, Sticks, you're so quick to jump to Metro's defence."

"Well–Sayid's not an asshole either," she faltered.

"Maybe I'm the asshole," he drawled thoughtfully, then nodded. "Probably. But you've just proved my point. You're more attracted to Metro than Mohammed."

"No, I… Maybe I just feel more loyalty to him," Shannon asked hopefully.

"Maybe, but that's not it. You're more attracted to him."

"Maybe I just feel like I owe him?"

"Sticks, come on," he looked at her with pleading eyes, "Stop lyin' to yourself."

She bit her lip and looked away, "I feel like a thirteen year old with a crush," she smiled slightly.

"Just tell Metro how you feel. What have you got to lose?"

"Um, just the demeanor I spent twelve years building. Other than that…"

"What good's a reputation if it's a lie?" Sawyer asked.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"This isn't about me."

"Maybe not, but I could."

"Okay, I'll bite." He sighed, "What do you mean?"

"Well, the whole time we're been on this island you've played the real asshole role to a tee, so what I don't get is why you're helping me. Being nice."

Sawyer furrowed his eyebrows, "I guess you caught me in a good mood," he said gruffly. "And I'm really bored."

"Well, whatever it is… Thanks," she flashed him a grin.

He found himself smiling back, "No problem." He paused, "Damn, have I actually found a friend on this freakin' island?"

She smiled slightly, surprised, "Maybe you have. So long as–so long as I can come bitch about my problems." She smirked.

"Like I said, it gives me somethin' to do other than sit here staring into space, somethin' which you interrupted, by the way."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said playfully, then sighed. "Well, it's been fun, but I better be going. Either 'Metro' or 'Mohammed' will be wondering where I am." She stood up.

"Don't be makin' fun of my nicknames, now. I spent a long time perfectin' those."

"Pity you didn't spend as long on mine," she pouted, brushing dirt off her pants.

"What d'ya mean?"

"Well, I mean… 'Sticks'?"

He laughed, "Sugar, it's a compliment."

"I think you've told me that before," she said, uncertain.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Now get out of here, and don't tell anybody I was nice to you." He winked.

She laughed as she left his tent, calling out behind her, "What good's a reputation if it's a lie!"

Sawyer sat shrouded in the dim light of his tent once again, this time mulling over Shannon's story. The thought at first disturbed him, that one could fall in 'love' with someone who had been classed as their sibling for twelve years. But he supposed that if Shannon had never thought of Boone as her brother and vice versa, there wasn't really anything wrong with it. But even though that was _his_ conclusion, the others wouldn't think of it that way. To them it would be tainted, wrong.

But just because these things worried her, he didn't see why it had to be his problem. Why did she have to bother him about it? Now he was involved, and he hated that.

Then he wondered if she'd even been telling the truth. She could have been stretching the truth, after all, he only had her word to go by. More importantly, he wondered if he believed her. He decided that he didn't, but it did slightly amuse him. He didn't believe her, then. But he couldn't stop thinking about it.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

While Sawyer was thinking, Shannon was making her way along the beach. Instead of going to her own shelter, Shannon found herself going to Boone's, and was surprised to see him sitting on his 'bed', staring into space. She sat down next to him.

"Hey. You look like Sawyer," she said.

"What?" his head snapped around to look at her. "Shit, Shan, what did I do to deserve _that_?"

"Leave him alone. He's a nice guy."

Boone nearly choked, "He's a–I'm sorry, _what_?"

"A _nice guy_." Shannon said forcefully.

"Okay, well–did you miss the part where he beat me up just for trying to help you?"

She shrugged, "He's different somehow."

"Oh, don't tell me–he's going to be your new boy toy."

"Why do you care?" she asked snottily. He didn't have an answer and she sighed. "Not that it's any of your business, but no, he's not. We were just talking, and he helped me a lot. He's really good to talk to, like a psychiatrist or something."

"Minus the drugs," Boone replied. "...Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, "Why would you ask that?"

"You've been acting weird lately…last night and this morning, and now..."

"Why do you care?" she repeated.

He glared at her, "I don't know why I bother, but I do care about you Shan. Despite what you might think."

She gave a bitter laugh, "Yeah, and you act like it, too."

"Well, Shannon, the way you act around me, I wouldn't be surprised if you turned cartwheels when I die."

She stared at him, hurt. "Why–why would you say that?" she asked in a small voice.

"Oh, come on, Shannon," he said, trying not to let himself feel bad.

She cut him off, "No, why would you–bring that up? You dying? You know how I was after that dream last night."

"Yeah, because I killed you, right?"

"No! God, how self-centred do you think I am?" she paused, "Okay, don't answer that. Boone, I could make sense of it. You wanting to kill me. Because you've been avoiding me and I thought, I thought you hated me. That I'd finally done something to push you away from me, like forever." She blinked back the tears in her eyes, twisted her fingers in her lap, and willed her voice to continue. He stared at her, a little bewildered. "But, the part that I couldn't get was how I'd said that you'd died on the island. I just don't get it. And I–I keep thinking, thinking that what if you do die here? What–what would I do without you?" A fat tear rolled down her cheek. Boone took one of her hands in his, and with his other hand wiped the tear away. It amazed her how, in the dim afternoon light of the tent, he knew it existed and where it was on her face.

They sat in silence, his fingers rubbing hers. She leaned into his shoulder and felt calmed.

"Oh Shannon," he said finally.

"What?" she asked, turning her head up to look at him.

"I… It's so hard, why don't you see that?"

"What's so hard?"

"Us."

"Oh." She paused. "I know how hard it is, Boone," she said softly.

He was quiet for a few seconds, then said, "You said you thought you'd finally pushed me away. The thing is, Shannon… You can't. You didn't push me away, okay?"

She looked at him, confused, "So why were you avoiding me?"

"Because whenever I'm around you, all we do is fight! Because I can't stand you yelling at me, because I hate making you upset! Because I genuinely thought you liked Sayid, because I wanted to give you space!" _Because I love you_, he thought, and wondered how she'd react if he said that.

She stared at him through wet eyes, "Maybe I didn't want space. Maybe I just wanted you," she said pitifully.

He gave her a look, "See, Shannon, I can never see what's real any more. I never could when it came to you. You say that now, but what happens tomorrow? When you're with Sayid, and I walk past and I want to talk to you? Are you still going to be all pissy about it?" He didn't give her a chance to answer, "See, I think you will be. I never know if I can approach you or not. I never know anything, Shan."

"Neither do I."

"You know more than I do. You know how you feel."

"You sound like Sawyer."

"Okay, stop it with the telling me I'm like Sawyer! I'm not!" He cried.

"Yeah, well… Whatever. It's beside the point. I actually don't know how I feel, okay? I truly don't. And you know more than I do, anyway. You know how _you_ feel."

"So do you!" he said, frustrated. "You told _me_ in Sydney."

"Sydney was…" she trailed off.

"A mistake?" he offered.

"What?" she asked, incredulous. _He couldn't have meant that_.

"Oh, think about it Shannon. I know you regret it."

"Then I guess you don't know me at all, do you? Because I really, really don't. I'd do it again like that." She paused. "That was one of Sawyer's suggestions, actually."

Boone's jaw dropped, "You told Sawyer about Sydney?"

"I–I told Sawyer about everything," she avoided his gaze.

"You're kidding me. Please, please tell me you're kidding me." He pulled away from her, and pressed his fingers to his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Boone. I needed help."

"So you chose _Sawyer_!"

"I trust him!" she yelled.

"Why couldn't I help you? Don't you trust me?" his voice sounded drained, and slightly childish.

"God, Boone, what do you think I was talking to Sawyer _about_? Why would I need to tell him everything about us? I wanted to know what to do about you!"

Boone squinted at her, in his classic confused state, "Me?" He blinked a few times.

She sighed, annoyed, "Yes, _you_."

"What about me?"

"I would quite like to know that myself." Sayid entered the tent. Both Boone and Shannon looked at him, shocked.

"How–how long were you out there for?" Shannon squeaked.

"Long enough," Sayid sighed, then admitted, "Since you came in, Shannon. I was hoping to talk to you, but now I hope you will just tell me the truth. What is going on between you two?"

Boone and Shannon shared a guilty glance, then Shannonlooked atSayid. "Boone, I'm going to tell him."

"What? No! Shannon!"He tugged on herarm"You've already told Sawyer, okay, one person is enough!"

"Well I bet you've told Locke!"

"I actually haven't."

"Yeah, I believe that." She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, "Anyway, I really _like_ Sayid, he deserves to know."

Sayid gave Boone a somewhat triumphant look. "Yes, Shannon?"

"Well, um, where do you want me to start?"

"How about why you talked to Sawyer?"

Shannon thought for a second. _I shouldn't have to tell him anything. It has nothing to do with him, it's none of his business._ Still, she sighed, "I was just asking him what I should do about Boone. Because he's always off with Locke and I miss him. As great as you are, Sayid, I need my brother, too. I always have."

Boone took her words seriously, as a sort of comfort, but one that made him feel bad. Sayid believed her, "I suppose that makes sense," he relaxed. "So what happened in Sydney?"

"Um," Shannon forced herself to look embarrassed, "Well, you see what happened was…" she sighed, "I had this boyfriend, Brian. And he was hitting me, and abusing me, that type of stuff–"

"She always picks guys like that," Boone interjected.

"Yeah. Some stupid thing of mine, I guess. So, anyway, Boone flew out from LA to pay Brian off, but then he came over to mine and Brian's place to take me back to LA, but Brian came home and sort of went crazy, I think he'd been drinking or something. So, anyway, he and Boone got into this big fight, and I… I…" she trailed away, staring at her lap because she knew otherwise she wouldn't pull this off. She'd come up with… nothing.

"She stabbed him," Boone filled in. "About three times, with a knife. Not too big, but it did some damage. We called an ambulance, said it was self-defence. All they had to see were our bruises and they knew we were telling the truth. Plus, the day before, I'd gone to the police before I paid Brian off, but they said I needed evidence."

"Hey, I didn't know about that," Shannon objected.

"Yeah, it happened," Boone looked into her eyes so she'd see he was telling the truth.

"Was he alright?" Sayid asked, aggrieved by their story.

"Who?" they asked together, turning to look at him again.

"Brian, was he alright?"

"Oh, just fine," Shannon said, "I only got his leg and his hand."

"I see," Sayid said. "And, one last thing… Why all of the argument about not knowing how you care for one another?"

"Oh, just a stupid brother/sister thing," Shannon covered.

"Yeah," Boone added, "It's sort of a different version of sibling rivalry."

"Ah," Sayid said, accepting their story. "Well, Shannon, I was wondering –"

He was cut off by Jack's cries from up the beach; "Sayid!"

Sayid sighed, "I must go. Shannon, will I see you later?"

"Sure," Shannon breathed, then fell onto Boone after Sayid had left. "That was horrible! I'm so _sick_ of lying to people."

Boone didn't move, as solid as a rock underneath her, he growled, "Yeah, I imagine it would be hard, lying to your boyfriend like that. But then, you never had any problems with lying to me."

Shannon was helpless, she couldn't think of a comeback, but when one came to her, she bit down on it because she was tired of fighting with him. Still, it slipped out softly, "Boone…you were never my boyfriend." He opened his mouth furiously, but she added quickly, "Neither's Sayid. But don't you dare think that I didn't feel bad about lying to you. It tore me up inside. In fact, if Brian hadn't told you, well… I like to think I would have told you, but me and my abusive boyfriends were like a barrier between you and your girlfriends. Didn't you see that?" She turned to face him, her hands on his chest. "It was never about the money, Boone."

He looked at her, almost as though he was happy, then his face clouded over and he held her hands, pushing them back towards her, "Shan, I'd like to believe that, but… I'm not letting you do this to me again."

"Do what?" Shannon blinked, completely clueless.

"I think you should go." He said, standing up and pulling her up with him.

"Boone! Answer me!" she demanded.

He sighed, "Your little speech to Sayid just proved it to me. You'll always be my sister. Nothing else." She looked at him, her eyes filling with tears. "I have to get over you," he whispered, and kissed her forehead.

She turned and left his tent, and just as soon as she was outside, she sat down and sobbed quietly, just loud enough for him to hear. He sat back down and put his head in his hands, wishing it wasn't so complicated, wishing for a day when the lies would end.

_**A/N: Sorry that its taken me so long to update, major problems with my computer. Then I sorta went Harry-Potter-crazy. Again. But, hey, it's here now. Oh, just in case you didn't get it, their recap to Sayid of what happened in Sydney was just a lie. I'm sticking to the "Hearts And Minds" story.**_

_**Still haven't written the idea that I had in "Numbers"… Next chapter will have more of Sayid's point of view, and more 'help' from Sawyer. My Numbers idea should happen in the fifth chapter. But I'm just going with this, it's very spontaneous :) lol…**_

_**Hope you guys liked! Tell me what you think! **_

**Oh… And… to those who reviewed, wow… You guys honestly made my day…**

**LeoChris:** Thanks :) Yeah, it sort of was a prologue I guess… All the other chapters will be a lot longer… or at least I hope so ;) I was gonna try to add in Charlie/Claire, just as a break from the Shannon/Boone stuff, coz if I write them for too long it goes too out of character.

**Reema, sunny102,** and **RT4ever: **Thank you all so much :D

**Saraiyu:** Wow, I actually didn't think they were in character, lol… Especially Boone. So I'm glad you said that, thanks :D I'll try to fit in Charlie and Claire.

**Anon: **Thank you! I agree, and I wasn't going to give the secondary couple too big of a part, and I might not even do it… Haha I don't know.

**Chris3137:** Wow. Thank you. Yeah, I do like Kate. She just annoys me how she's always _involved_. But aside from that, and especially since _"Born To Run"_,I like her. I was thinking of Sawyer/Kate/Jack… Because I love Jack and Sawyer… Yeah, that was sort of it with the dream. I can't believe you liked it; I love Lost Hearts In Manhattan… Sorry I didn't review but my computer's sort of screwed, it wouldn't let me review anything. Pleease update soon :D

**Faran1078: **I know :) lol… Thanks :D. I'll email you back soon :)

**I'm speechless that people actually liked that chapter, lol.**

**More soon… I've written chapter three but I'm waiting till four's done before I post it.**


	3. Her

_**Summary: **_''**_He was sick of it, sick of being Shannon's puppet. Yet he didn't want Sayid to have her either. She was _his_ burden, and he couldn't stand the thought of her being with anyone else._**''

_**A/N: This is still the same day as last chapter, just from where I left off. Sorry its taken me so long to update--I was trying to decide whether I should change the ending or not. I left it, though. Thanks so much for the reviews for last chapter, R&R please.**_

**_Disclaimer: If I owned Lost, do you really think _**''Do No Harm''**_ would have gone the way it did?_**

_**Chapter 3: Her**_

* * *

_She's got a pretty smile_

_It covers up the poison that she hides  
_

_She walks around in circles in my head_

_Waiting for a chance to break me_

_A chance to take me down_

_Now I see this burden you gave me _

_Is too much to carry _

_Too much to bury inside..._

_"Only One" – Lifehouse_

* * *

Jack was talking to Sayid, about some trouble of his with Hurley and with the raft. But Sayid wasn't listening.

"Hey! Sayid!" Jack tried to get his attention for the fourth time.

Sayid blinked and faced Jack, "Yes?"

Jack sighed, irritated, "I'm sure that whatever's on your mind is so much more important than what I'm saying," he lectured, sounding remarkably like a teacher, "So you might as well go, do whatever it was I interrupted."

Sayid gave Jack a small smile, "Thank you. Tomorrow, Jack, I'll help you with whatever you want. Alright?"

Jack sighed again, "Go." Sayid turned and headed towards Boone's tent. Kate came over and sat next to Jack, who had lowered himself into the sand.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"Nothing, really," he said, looking at her, "Just…frustrated, I guess. Sick of being stuck here."

"Oh," said Kate, slightly disappointed but didn't know the reason for it.

"There's nothing for me to do lately," he continued.

"You want to come help me in Sun's garden?" Kate suggested.

Jack's eyes scanned the beach, "Yeah, okay," he finally answered, and they stood up and made their way through the jungle.

Sayid looked into Boone's tent, but it was empty. He wandered up to Shannon's shelter, which was empty, too. He found a remote patch of sand, away from the other islanders, and sat down facing the waves. He stared out over the horizon, trying to figure out if maybe there was more to everything, to anything, if he was being tricked or simply being paranoid.

Boone ambled up the beach; unable to comprehend _why_ he was doing this. He questioned a lot of his behavior lately, didn't understand why he was doing most things. But this had to be somewhere up the top, because… The things he did for her. He shook his head. It was never going to change.

He was sick of it, sick of being Shannon's puppet. Yet he didn't want Sayid to have her either. She was _his_ burden, and he couldn't stand the thought of her being with anyone else. The fact that she still came to _him_, and only him, when she had bad dreams comforted him. She could have just as easily gone to Sayid last night, but she went to him. He felt sort of proud, in a strange way.

He stood outside the shelter, then sighed and made his way in.

Sawyer put down his book, and raised an eyebrow, "Metro…" he said, in a sort of greeting tone, "Thought I'd be seein' you soon."

"My name's Boone," he growled.

"Easy there. Have a seat."

Boone rolled his eyes and sat down.

"Let me guess what this is about…" Sawyer folded his hands on his stomach, "…Shannon?"

Boone rolled his eyes again, "Stop acting like you don't know anything about our past and just-"

"See, that's what's eatin' you up, huh, Metro? That I do know. Yeah, hey–I know howshe feels, how about that one? You don't, do you?" Sawyer paused, "But here's what I don't know. How do you feel about her?"

"What are you, a freaking matchmaker?" Boone cried, standing up. "I don't even know why I came."

"Sit down," Sawyer barked, and Boone did so, reluctantly. "You came because, no matter what you say to her or how much you try to avoid her, you want to be with her. And you want me to tell you what to do." He paused. "You also wanna know what she said about you."

Boone looked away.

Sawyer continued, "Sorry, Metro, can't tell ya that one."

"Then why should I tell you anything?"

"Hell, buddy, it aint my secret to tell!"

"I should just go."

"Sure. But if you do, you'll never get the courage to tell _her_ how you feel. So, you can leave, bottle it up an' let her have a relationship with Mohammed, aww, maybe they'll have kids, wouldn't that be nice?"

Boone scowled.

"And, you can just spend your days in the jungle with the old man, doin' God knows what, and never have Sticks. Hey, maybe you'll die out there, cold, alone, while Mohammed's kissin' your girl. Or, you can tell me your troubles, we can build up your strength and then you can fight this, you can break down the wall of lies that's keeping you two apart. What do you say?" _Jesus, I should start my own counsellin' business or somethin'. Why am I so good at this?_ Sawyer thought.

"Well, I…" Boone shifted in his seat, "I don't know how I feel…"

"Take your time, Metro, the words'll come," Sawyer leaned his head back, and prepared himself for another story.

* * *

Sayid sighed, turning up the sand next to his leg with his fingers. He wanted company. Then the sudden thought occurred to him. He wanted to know the truth about Shannon, and apparently… _Sawyer knew._ It was worth a try. He knew that Sawyer was easy to crack. Maybe he could get Kate to help him.

Sayid stood up, and walked to Sawyer's tent. He heard the murmur of voices which indicated that Sawyer had somebody with him.

* * *

Boone was wrapping up his story when Sawyer heard noises outside. Footsteps. He raised a hand to cut Boone off. "Shh." He said, then called out, "You got three seconds to show yourself before I get my gun."

"You've got a gun?" Boone asked, alarmed, as Sayid emerged from behind the tarp.

"Boone!" he cried. "What is going on here? I thought you hated Sawyer. First Shannon, now you…"

"Really, Sayid, this curiosity thing of yours is getting old," Boone said lazily, ''I was just giving Mr. Tennessee over here his sun block back. Settle down."

"Your nicknames suck, pretty boy," Sawyer shot at him.

"While yours are just getting better and better," Boone smirked.

"Hey, Mohammed," Sawyer drawled, as if noticing him for the first time, "What did I do to deserve the grace of your presence?"

"Well, I–" Sayid's eyes snaked over to Boone and he cleared his throat, "I needed your opinion on something."

"Riiight," Boone commented with a sly half smile, "I guess that means I'm leaving? Fine." He smirked again, this time at Sayid, "I'm gonna go find Shannon. Thanks, Sawyer."

"No problem, Metro. Get outta my sight."

Boone chuckled, and left the tent. Sayid almost growled, "What is going on with him and Shannon?"

Sawyer made a face, "Uh, he's her brother?"

"And that is all?"

Sawyer shook his head, "I don't have time for this. I gotta go, I've gotta talk toFreckles before the good doctor finds a–"

"But you have time for them?" Sayid cut him off.

"If you wanna know about them, ask them, not me." Sawyer grumbled, "They know more than I do."

"But you know something." Sayid stared at Sawyer, who in turn was staring opposite him, in the space Boone had occupied. Sayid gave up, and began to turn away.

"I know this," Sawyer said, before Sayid left, "You'll never take Metro's place for her. You can't."

"Well, yes…he's her brother," Sayid said, confused.

Sawyer raised his eyebrows and looked away, "You can leave now."

Sayid glowered at the other man furiously before turning and leaving the tent. After he left Sawyer sniggered, slightly proud of himself.

But also, he had come to a conclusion. He believed their story, and for reasons unbeknownst to him, he was going to help them… and keep their secret.

* * *

Boone sat at the top of the beach, on a shady patch of sand, dirt, and pebbles. He picked up a rock and rolled it around absent mindedly–thinking of, of course, Shannon–when he was hit on the back of the head with something, and knocked out.

When he woke up, he was tied to a tree in the middle of the jungle. He groaned. This was all too familiar. "Locke?" he asked, annoyed. "This is getting old, John!"

"So...You and John tie up one another, do you? I had no idea of the relationship between you," and with that, Sayid emerged from the trees with a smirk on his face.

He sat opposite Boone, who groaned again, this time in disgust and annoyance, "What is _wrong_ with you?" he struggled against the ropes.

"Why do you ask?" Sayid asked calmly.

"Maybe because you tied me to a _tree_! If you think Shannon's going to want you after this–"

"You are beginning to get a little panicked. Relax," Sayid said, still calm, as he pulled out a bamboo stick, and sharpened it against his fingernail.

Boone stared at it, his eyes wide, "What the _hell_? Is this a nightmare?" he remembered something, "So, what, are you gonna torture me just like you tortured Sawyer? Have you gone _crazy_?"

Sayid looked at him in surprise, "I will not have to use these if you simply tell me the truth about you and Shannon."

"_What_? This isn't fair!" he struggled again, against the ropes. They weren't tied nearly as well as the ones Locke had held him in. "And I don't have to tell you anything!"

"All's fair in love and war," Sayid said, eyes still on his nail against the bamboo. "Struggling will only make the ropes tighter."

Boone half-smiled. He was wrong there. These ropes weren't tied at all like John's, and yes, when he'd struggled in _those_ ones, he'd been held tighter. Not these ones, though. But he wasn't going to tell Sayid that. Now if only he had a knife, or something. It struck him, John had given him one of his knives, "just in case". Boone thanked him for that now, struggling more than ever in an attempt to free the knife from his right pants pocket. He finally got a hold of it with his left hand, and cut the rope around his waist.

"I promise you, struggling will only tighten the grip on you," Sayid said, still preoccupied with the bamboo.

Boone freed himself just as Sayid was asking him if he was ready to talk.

"Not exactly," he grinned, jumping out of the ropes.

Sayid's mouth dropped open, "But–what–how–"

Boone brandished the knife in front of him, "Come any closer and I'll kill you."

Sayid raised his hands, and Boone ran, back to the beach although he hadn't exactly known the way, spending so long with Locke helped him develop another sense.

Sayid slid down the tree trunk, sitting at the bottom and settling his head in his hands, "What have I done?" he wondered, thinking that he'd finallygone insaneon this island, and that Boone would tell Shannon for sure. He stood up and followed the path Boone had taken, which ultimately ended inside Boone's tent.

"Boone," Sayid said slowly, quietly.

Boone spun around frantically, actually afraid, "What the hell do you want? I thought you didn't walk up to people, talk to them. Whacking them on the head more your style."

"I–I don't know what came over me."

"I don't care," Boone said coldly, "Leave."

"Please, let me explain."

Boone blew air out through his nostrils but didn't say anything, just sat down and crossed his arms over his chest.

"After I–after what I did to Sawyer, I left camp, ashamed," Sayid said, his head hung, "I feel the same way now. I don't know what I was doing but I regret it. It was a stupid thing to do, and I am hoping that I wouldn't have gone through with it. I guess I believe that I love Shannon, and I didn't want anyone standing in my way–"

Boone felt the anger bubbling inside him.

"But I know that all she is, is your sister. I can accept that now. Please--don't tell Shannon about this–this lapse of intelligence on my part."

"You know what? Shannon always picks violent guys. I thought you'd be different, but you're really, really not. And you know why she picks them? To get back at me. You might not believe it, but its what she does. So you know what? I don't care, okay? Go, get played, it's none of my business. You think you're in love with her?" he laughed bitterly. "She's not in love with you. Sorry to break that to you."

Sayid peered at Boone, "Is this your way of getting back at me?"

"This is my way of telling you the truth. You wanted it? You got it." He sighed, "I wont tell Shannon. I don't want her to lose a friend. But I swear, you ever hurt my sister or me again and you'll wish you never …" he paused, stuck. "You'll be sorry."

"I _am_ sorry, Boone–"

"Save it." Boone turned away and Sayid left the tent, still shaken. Boone laid on his 'bed', as a tear fell down his cheek. He wondered why this stuff happened to him, why he couldn't ever get a break.

_**A/N: What did I do? I didn't want to do that to Sayid, its crazy! Hope you guys don't hate me too much…Next few chapters should be better. I can't believe I did that, it just seems stupid…God, this chapter really sucks. Oh well.**_

_**Sorry so short. Review please!**_


	4. Him

_**Summary: **__**He was sick of it, sick of being Shannon's puppet. Yet he didn't want Sayid to have her either. She was** _his_** burden, and he couldn't stand the thought of her being with anyone else.**_

_**A/N: Wow, two updates in one day. Anyway, this chapter is happening at the same time as the last one.. And I love writing pregnant Claire... She's too cute.**_

_**Disclaimer: If I owned Lost, Boone wouldn't have died, Sayid would never have spoken to Shannon, Sawyer would still be the sarcastic asshole who punched everyone, and Evangeline would only be shown every 2 to 3 episodes. Clearly, it's not mine.**_

_**Chapter 4: Him**_

_**

* * *

**_

_I'm looking past the shadows _

Of my mind into the truth and

_I'm trying to identify _

_The voices in my head _

_God, which one's you_

_Take a breath and hold on tight _

_Spin around one more time _

_And gracefully fall back in the arms of grace_

_"Breathing" – Lifehouse._

* * *

"Hey," Claire said, slowly sliding her frame onto the sand next to Shannon. "Mind if I join you?"

"It'd be too bad if I did," Shannon smirked, "Coz it'd take you _another _age to get back up again."

"Oh, ha ha," Claire said sarcastically, a hand absently massaging her swollen belly. She gave the other woman a half smile, "Wow, Shannon in a good mood? That's definately a first."

"Yeah," Shannon grinned, hugging her legs to her chest, "It's strange. Boone just pushed me away, I spent the whole day fighting with him and lying to Sayid, but for some reason I feel the happiest I've ever felt on this island."

"Just one of those stages I guess, of, you know, _crashing on an island_," said Claire flippantly, then peered at Shannon, "Or, actually... You're acting more like a girl who's..." Claire broke off, grinning, while Shannon's smile dropped.

"Who's _what_, Claire?" She asked, sort of bitchily.

"Hey, it's okay," Claire said reassuringly, giving her a knowing smile.

Shannon's eyebrows furrowed, now curious, "Who's... what?"

Claire gave Shannon a sympathetic smirk, "Who's... in love."

"Ex_cuse _me? _What?_"

"You heard," Claire grinned. Shannon shook her head defiantly, and Claire gave her a patronising look. "Come _on_, Shannon. Everyone on the island can see it. You're in love... with Sayid."

At the mention of his name, Shannon flipped her head back to face Claire, "Seriously, _what_? Where do you get your news from?"

"Hey, it's okay, you can tell me."

"No, I really... I really can't." They sat in silence for a few minutes. "Maybe...maybe you're half right. It might not be love, and it mightnotbe with Sayid, but I do feel...something...for--someone. And dont ask me who, I'm not telling. You wouldn't _approve_, anyway," she wrinkled her nose.

"Oh. Shannon," Claire put her hand on the other girl's arm. "It doesn't matter to me who they are. Just out of curiousity--male, right?"

"Yeah," Shannon sighed.

"Ooh, a _sigh_," Claire swooned teasingly, and Shannon actually laughed. "But like I was saying--it doesn't matter who he is, or whether anyone here _approves_. Just that he makes you happy...Does he?"

Shannon hesitated, "Sometimes."

"Oh," said Claire, as if she'd just thought of something, "Is it Boone?"

Shannon paled and her eyes widened, "W-what?"

"Is that why you wont say who he is? You don't want Boone to beat him up?"

Shannon blushed, and let her eyes sweep the ocean, "Well...it does have _something _to do with Boone."

Claire gave her a small smile, and rubbed Shannon's arm reassuringly.

Shannon turned to look at the other girl, "Me and you, we haven't talked much, since...since..."

"...we became friends again?" Claire smiled, a few days earlier she had vaguely remembered talking to Shannon before she'd been taken so had gone to her, rather than Charlie, to talk about their friendship.

"Yeah. And you know that you were the only one on the island to be nice to me, really..." Claire blushed a little, with sympathy perhaps, and Shannon continued, "...so I feel sort of weird asking you this, dont get mad at me, but...have you remembered anything else?"

Claire's face flushed again, as her eyes darted away she muttered, "Why would I get mad at you because of that?" She paused, then added quietly, "I remembered more. About..." her voice dropped to a whisper, "...Charlie."

"I knew it!" Shannon squealed, "What happened between you two?"

"You're just trying to distract me from your mystery boy," she grinned, but answered anyway. "Nothing happened between us. Nothing earth shattering. I just remembered um...some--some feelings."

"That's almost as good!" Shannon grinned, too. "You like Charlie!"

"No, I..." Claire dropped her gaze, "I don't know, but I..." she looked up, smiling sheepishly, "Yeah, I _might_ like him."

"Oh my God!" Shannon blinked, still grinning, "That's so, so...wow. So are you gonna tell him?"

"Are you gonna tell the guy you're in love with how you feel?"

"I told you, I dont think I'm in _love _with him, exactly. I don't know. I don't think it's right."

"Well, how about you tell your mystery guy, and I'll tell Charlie?"

"Claire, that's not fair--"

Claire gave her a steely look, "Okay, obviously you think you've got alot to lose here, and this guy means alot to you. But Charlie's my friend, probably my best friend on this island. And it's scary to think about losing that. Plus, you're prettier than me. You're not pregnant, either. I'd say we're about even here."

"You _are_ really pretty Claire, and it doesn't matter to Charlie that you're preg--" Shannon's eyes widened as what Claire had said sank in, "You're serious about this?"

"Yup. How about we tell them tomorrow? We can meet at sunset, and whichever one of us _hasn't_ done it, will have some sort of punishment."

"How about...living off nothing but sea urchins for a week?"

Claire shook her head, "I don't mind the sea urchins. How about...not being able to see, or communicate with in any way, our separate men until we're rescued?"

Shannon paled, "Claire! What if...what if we're never rescued?"

Claire shrugged, "All the more reason to tell him how you feel tomorrow."

Shannon shook her head, "This is complete insanity, but...okay. I agree." The two women smiled at each other. "Jesus, Claire, you are by far the craziest, bravest woman I know."

Claire grinned, "Thanks."

* * *

Kate sat in Sawyer's tent, waiting. She folded her arms across her chest and sighed, not wanting to be here and not knowing exactly why she was.

He stumbled in, and collapsed into his chair/bed, pressing his fingers to his forehead and groaning.

"What have you been doing that's worked you so hard?" she teased.

He looked up, startled, and lowered his hand, "Freckles! What the hell are you doin' here, besides scarin' me half to death?"

"So...I'll take that as a, 'Hey, Kate, I'm really glad to see you, what can I do for you'?"

"Take however you wanna take it," he grinned, "Haven't really talked in a while, I wasthinkin' you'd forgotten about me."

"Sawyer, we talked this morning."

He shrugged, "Oh. Right. Well, hurry up and tell me what you want, 'cause, you know...people to do, things to see..."

"Yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes, "Well, it's just that, this afternoon...I talked to Sayid, and..."

Sawyer groaned again.

"What? I thought you two were friends now?"

He made a non-commital noise, "I can see where this is goin'..."

"You can?" she raised her eyebrows, and continued, "Anyway. I was talking to Sayid, and he told me about how he was in love with Shannon, but he was--curious--about Boone. And now I am too. I want to know their background, Sawyer.''

He gave a low murmur.

"And you know."

"Possibly."

"Won't you tell me?"

"Freckles, it ain't my story to tell. Besides, if I tell you, you'll go tellin' Mohammed, and prob'ly Dr. Jackass, and soon it'll be all over the frickin' island. Ya really think they'll appreciate that? How would _you_ like that, Freckles?''

Kate crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly, ''It's nothing big, right? Besides...in the name of love...I wouldn't mind...''

Sawyer raised an eyebrow, ''Someone oughta teach you how to tell the truth, cause every word of that was bullshit. An' all I got to say, and don't go repeatin' this, is that they are not what they seem."

Her eyebrows knotted in confusion, "But what do they seem...?"

"No comment, Freckles."

"But--"

An idea popped into his head. ''Alright, Freckles, you know what I've been thinkin'? I really like Mohammed and Sticks as a couple, right?'' He lied. Kate nodded, leaning closer. ''And there's this girl on the beach, uh, her name's...Madison,'' he quickly threw out a name. ''Well, she was talkin' to me and uh, seems she's got a teensy crush on our dear Metro.''

''So? What are we gonna do?'' she asked eagerly.

''Well, uh, I think that these two couples ain't gonna get together on their own. So you and me, we play matchmaker, right? Set 'em up on a double-date or somethin'.''

Kate nodded slowly, ''I like it, but...what's in it for us?''

Sawyer grinned greedily, ''That's my girl. Well, for me, I get a break from hearin' 'bout their relationship dramas. And at the end of it, I'll tell you the story of Shannon and Boone.''

Kate grinned, ''I like it. When do we start?''

''As early as possible, their shit gives me headaches. I think we should get them all together tomorrow. Now, any other spectacular reason you're in here, such as to profress your undyin' love for me, or are ya gonna leave so I can get some sleep?"

"Sleep? The sun's barely gone down!"

He shrugged, squinting, "Big day."

"Oh, right," she stood up, "Night, then," as she left she snorted, "So much for having people to do!"

He smiled smugly and muttered to himself, "Oh yeah, she loves me."

* * *

In the early night, Shannon sat thinking. Thinking about the change in her, why she had acted the way she had with Claire today, all squealy and girly. It was a change, and Shannon didn't want to change. The bitchiness was a part of _her_, and she'd always hated happy people. So she didn't trust this island now, because she'd made friends with someone like Claire, someone happy. It was strange and it wasn't Shannon.

Boone always had happy girlfriends. She always hated them.

She wondered if Claire and Boone would ever get together. She wondered how she'd deal with that, whether she'd end up hating Claire.

She hated this. Being here. Things should be different. If she had to be stuck on a desert island with Boone, things could have at least been different. Like Sawyer had said. She hated to admit it, but he was right. And this situation, this problem that she had, it was all her fault.

Damn her father for ever meeting Sabrina Carlisle.

She sat there, thinking, a look of utter confusion on her face. These last few days...she'd changed so much. She'd pushed away Sayid, she'd gone to Boone for comfort--hell, she had been _talking_ to Boone again--she'd gone to _Sawyer_ for advice, lord, she'd told Sawyer everything--what was she thinking?--she'd lied to Sayid, she'd partially told Boone of her feelings, she'd nearly lost him, really...and she'd been all giggly with Claire. She'd promised Claire to try with Boone, not that Claire knew who she'd been talking about. Why the massive change? She decided that she loved and hated this person she'd become.

A few days ago, the only person on this island who had noticed her presence was Sayid. And now...she had found friends in Sawyer and Claire, was barely talking to Sayid, and didn't know where she stood with Boone. Well, she thought sardonically, at least that last one wasn't much of a change.

When Shannon was younger, she had hated change. All change was bad--her mom died, and her whole world changed. Her dad remarried, and her whole world changed. Boone went to college, and everything changed. When Boone left for college she was sixteen or so, and she realized that instead of being afraid of change, instead of _letting_ her world change and moaning about it afterwards, she'd change everything, and take control of her life. Maybe then, she wouldn't hate change so much. And so, the lies began. She'd twist her relationships, and Boone, around her little finger to get what she wanted--his attention. She hurt everyone else so that she wouldn't get hurt anymore, but what she didn't realize--oh, she realized when she was drunk, but quickly forgot it later--was that she was still hurting. And when she tired of the same old lies, over and over, the travelling began. She was getting nowhere fast with her education, so convinced Daddy to let her open her trust fund early and start a life of...of what, exactly, she was never sure. She was a conman in her own right--she lived off Boone's money, and his attention. Her only enjoyment came from seeing him rush across the globe to come to her "rescue". She fed every dumb guy the same dumb line--"Hit me, so that my stupid brother will come give_ us _the money that I'm owed"--but never went into details about why she was owed it. It always worked. Then, when she was eighteen, she came home to Sabrina's wails and Boone's _tears_. If it were ever something she couldn't stand, it was Boone's tears. And she was told that her father was dead. Her world changed, and this time it fell apart.

She was always the strong one. He was the weak one. But not at her father's funeral, oh no, she was so very weak. So very drunk afterwards. She screamed at her stepmother, at him, to her dad, at everyone, until Boone pulled her away, upstairs, comforted her and put her to bed. Her screams that night still echo in her ears--"_Get the fuck off me, get the hell away from me! I dont need you, I never have, I hate you!"_--and she can still remember his every word back, his yelling and his consoling, and she still sees her stepmother break down.

A few days later, she was off, and the Shannon she had once been, years ago, had completely disappeared. The hurt, popular, girl who was still sweet, who cared, was gone, and in her place was a hurt, manipulating, young woman wearing a hardened mask and with tight shell wrapped around her. Her father's death left her two things: a solid increase in her bank account--she no longer needed Boone's _money_--and a valid sob story about a dead daddy and a wicked stepmother. And every man she entranced saw her as a Snow White or Cinderella, and convinced themselves that they were her Prince Charming, until she got Boone's attention and her cut of his money and she was gone again.

Brian changed everything, again. She was getting desperate--hadn't heard from Boone in months, so was just picking up any guy she could find--and luckily for her this one had a low salary and didn't ask questions. He wasn't her type in the looks department, but he'd do. What she didn't know was that _he knew _that she craved Boone's attention. Of course, he had mixed feelings about his girlfriend being crazy about her stepbrother, but went along with it...as long as he got the money.

He hadn't meant to tell the stepbrother the truth. But, as he'd told Shannon during their fight, Boone's type of guy always annoyed him. And for someone who wanted to be her Prince Charming, Brian hated seeing this other guy ride up in his white armor, flying in to save the day. So he couldn't help himself. He told. After the stepbrother left, Shannon started yelling, about how she'd lost Boone now, maybe forever, and how it was all Brian's fault. Brian argued that if she was so concerned about holding onto Boone then why'd she cheat him out of his time and money everytime she saw him? She had no answer and he continued, telling her his side of things and that he'd always known she loved her brother, stepbrother, whatever. She insisted that she didn't, she yelled, she cried, and he took the cheque that was made out to him in what was worth over a hundred thousand Australian dollars, and he left.

So she went to Boone, drunk _again_, and he comforted her, again. Well, no, he didn't...but he succumbed to her and that was just as good. The next morning, she didn't know how to deal, she still feared change and so the mask was back up, the shell was back on, and they left for LA. On a plane trip that definately changed her life in ways she could never imagine. And for some reason now, she'd let down her shell and taken off her mask, and now she was exposed. She had everything to lose, and everything to gain, and she was terrified.

_**

* * *

A/N: All that stuff about Shannon's background isn't all that important, just my little rant at the time, so don't pay too much attention to that. In case you couldn't tell, Sawyer was making up that stuff about ''Madison''. Reviews make me happy...**_


	5. Unsteady

**A/N: I think the timeline may seem a little confusing, so I figured out when everything happened-the night of Chapter 1 is the night when "Numbers" started. Chapter 2, 3, 4 and 5 all take place the day after, which is the day after the night that Hurley talked to Sayid in "Numbers". On the show, they had Hurley leave camp that day. In my story, he waited a few days to do that. Chapter 6 and possibly 7 happen on the day after that, and Chapter 8 should be the day after that, and that's when Hurley leaves camp and they all follow him. So basically this all takes place over four days (if you count the first chapter) as opposed to "Numbers" which took, like, two days. Sorry if that made it more confusing, I felt like I had to clear it up. I've pretty much followed "Numbers" for the first few scenes of it, then put a few days in between Hurley leaving. And I realized that in Chapter 2, when I had Sayid talking to Locke, if it had been on the show Claire would have been there.**

**Sorry if all of that just made it worse, lol. I'm not too great at explaining things, obviously. **

**Old disclaimer still applies, sadly JJ Abrams didn't visit me last night and give me the rights to Lost. It might happen tonight, though, you never know.**

**Thanks for reviews last two chapters.**

**msmith4815: **I would have rathered have Sawyer tell Kate to piss off, but I'm going somewhere with the whole matchmaker thing. I think. And, the Madison thing (I'm not really happy about that either) was basically just to keep her away--if he'd told her to piss off she'd just keep bugging him. So, he had to make up that stuff. Something like that.

**Faran1078: **Heh, I hate reading and watching Shayid with a passion, but I don't know where I'm going with this in that way. I might have to throw it in...but I doubt it. I'm glad you think I'm doing Sawyer okay, because I think I'm overdoing his whole voice thing. Right, Carlyle...and thanks for reviewing every chapter :)

* * *

_**Chapter 5: Unsteady**_

_This cannot be happening _

This is over my head, but underneath my feet  
Cause by tomorrow morning, I'll have this thing beat  
And everything will be back to the way that it was  
I wish that it was just that easy

Cause I'm waiting for tonight  
And then waiting for tomorrow  
And I'm somewhere in between  
What is real and just a dream...

_Lifehouse - "Somewhere In Between"_

* * *

About half an hour later, Boone found her sitting in that same spot. He sat down next to her silently, not wishing to disturb her thoughts. After a few minutes she turned to him, a little uneasy.

"Hey?" she said questioningly.

He gave her a halfsmile, "Hi...why the questioning tone?"

"Well, I meant...what are you doing here?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Uh, talking to you?"

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, that's what I mean, shithead. Normally you're off with Locke, you don't care about me any more," she bit her lip and looked back out at the water.

"Shannon, that's stupid," he protested, putting a hand on her arm. She pulled her arm away. He sighed, "Of course I still care about you, I just--"

"What?" she snapped, facing him again, "I'm not good enough to even talk to you now that you have Locke? Is that it?"

"No, Shan, God, you know it's not like that," Boone said in a pleading voice, stumbling over his words.

She folded her arms across her chest, "Then what _is_ it like?"

"I don't know," he mumbled, his eyes darting uncomfortably, "It's like I said last night...I just figured you wanted space."

"Right," she scoffed. "There's more to it than that and we both know it."

He looked over the ocean, "Maybe," he said softly, and neither of them spoke a few minutes. She was still getting used to being around him; he was used to the fluttery feelings whenever she was around, but for her they'd only been very faint. Up till now. Up till she'd had that dream.

"It all goes back to that damn dream," she muttered.

"What _are_ you talking about?"

"What?" she hadn't been aware that she was talking aloud.

"_What _all goes back to your dream? What dream?"

She blushed a little (_God, since when do _I_ blush? _she thought frantically), "That dream that I had...about, how there was no island, but you killed me?"

"Oh, right, and we were in a tub together?"

She blushed darker and let out a strangled "Mm hmm."

He grinned, "What are you blushing for, Shannon Rutherford?" She looked away. "If I didn't know better, I'd think that you actually didn't hate me."

"Good thing you know better, then," she spat at him, and his grin faded.

"Yeah," he said sadly, "When you like guys, you try to charm them, you don't blush. You still hate me, you're just being uncharacteristic. Right? But then it's back again, the bitchmode is up and fighting..." he moved to get up, "Sorry for bothering you, Shan--"

She put a hand out to stop him. He came crashing down onto the sand. "I don't hate you," she said quietly. "And it's me who should be sorry, Boone. I was wrong...about everything."

He gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged, "I don't know, I was wrong to treat you the way I always have. I don't hate you, Boone, far from it."

"Why are you telling me this now?" he was furrowing his eyebrows further, and she shrugged again.

"Um, I just realized...some things. I don't know, okay? God, I just wanted to apologize..." her expression clouded over.

He gave her a small, easy smile, and her clouds cleared, "'Kay, Shan. Thanks. And it's okay, about how you 'treated' me--"

"It's really not, but whatever."

"Yeah, well. We can get over it, right?"

"If you want."

He smiled wider, "I want." Then he stood up, and extended his hand out to her. She took it and stood up next to him. His hand was a little clammy but she thought that hers was too. She didn't want to let go...so she decided she wouldn't. He gave her a funny look but didn't release her hand either. "Want to go for a walk?" he asked her softly.

She offered him a small smile, and even though the scared part of her was sceraming _'Get away! Run! Run now!'_, she replied, "Okay."

They walked along in silence, the waves lapping at their bare feet. He looked down at their intertwined hands in confusion, then up at her face in the moonlight. She was biting her lip, thinking, and the wind was blowing her hair out behind her. She looked like an angel to him. "So, um," he broke the silence, "What were you thinking of before I joined you?"

"Uh," she looked away, and bit her lip harder, "Nothing much, just, like, our lives together and stuff."

"Oh," he gave her a teasing smile as he paused, "So you were thinking of me?"

She hit his chest lightly with her free hand, "Don't get all smug, I was thinking more of me."

"Aww," he frowned, fake-upset, "You got my hopes up there."

"I'm sorry," she faced him wearing a genuine look, "What can I do to make it better?" She inched closer to him, until their faces were almost touching. His eyes widened and he felt frozen; trapped, but in a way that he liked. She always did this to him.

"Uh," he cleared his throat, but before he could say anything they heard footsteps, someone running.

"Shannon, I'm so glad I found you, I--" it was Sayid, he was coming up behind Boone, and from his point of view could see what only looked like something very non-brother-sisterly. "What are you doing?" As he got closer he could see that they weren't kissing, but were holding hands.

Shannon rolled her eyes, "I'm drunk, go with it," she muttered to Boone. When Sayid reached them she dropped Boone's hand and threw her arms around his neck. "I love you so much, big brother," she slurred, "You're the bestest brother I ever, ever had, ever!" she slumped into his body.

"I'm the only brother you ever had, Shan," he spoke unevenly, struggling to keep her from falling.

She stepped back, blinking at him and wobbling, "W-what?" she stammered, her eyes pooling, "How could you say that?"

"Um...okay, I'm not?" he raised his eyebrows.

She grinned and threw her hands up in the air, "Yeah, I know! Wow, I love this place, what a great holiday, Boone!"

"Yeah, um, holiday. Yeah it's great--" he was cut off as Shannon rounded on Sayid.

"Heyyy, I know you! You're that guy...you know...that guy," she looked to Boone for help.

"Yeah, that guy," Boone agreed and nodded, moving towards her. "We should probably go back up to my tent, Shan."

Sayid stared at her in shock, "Shannon, what's wrong?"

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong!" she squeaked and started spinning in circles, "I love this place! Oh, and I _love _Sawyer!"

Both Sayid and Boone shuddered at that statement, but it gave Boone the idea that Shannon hoped it would, and when Sayid asked him, "What _is_ going _on_?" he had an answer.

"Sawyer." He said simply. "Gave her some alcohol from the plane. She's drunk."

"Sawyer has alcohol?" Sayid asked suspiciously as Shannon spun around and around behind him.

"Oh, yeah, loads," Boone rolled his eyes. Shannon collapsed on the ground, and pretended to pass out. Sayid crouched over her.

"Shannon, are you okay? Shannon?" he tapped her cheek softly.

Boone gently pushed him out of the way, "Don't worry about it. Look, trust me, I'm an expert on taking care of her while she's drunk, just go back to whatever you were doing, she'll be fine." Boone gathered up Shannon in his arms and started to walk away.

"Boone!" Sayid called after him, "Why was she drinking, anyway?"

Boone thought fast, "Raging alcoholic!" he yelled over his shoulder as he made his way up the beach.

Shannon opened her eyes and hit him again on the chest, "Asshole."

He shrugged, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Shan."

"You're not feeding me."

"No, but I'm carrying you." He pointed out.

She shut her mouth, then opened it again and pouted; "God, did you have to say that? Now he's gonna be all, 'Oh, Shannon, I can help you get over your habit,' blah blah blah."

Boone shrugged again, "That's not my problem."

"I could make it your problem."

"No, you couldn't."

She pouted, because he was right again, and he said it all in such an obvious tone.

They fell into silence, something that was not uncommon lately, until he said in a humble tone, "You're a really good actress, Shan."

She waved it off, "Practice."

"Yeah, well, I'm not denying that, but still...it was a good idea."

"Being drunk comes naturally," she grinned up at him, then dropped her gaze and realized that she was in his arms. In. _His_. _ARMS_. In _Boone's_ arms. And her head was against his chest and she could hear his heart beating, feel him breathing, smell his distinct Boone-smell that wasn't soap and aftershave anymore but now smokey and grass-stained. Her eyes widened. He was so close. Too close. "You can put me down now," she whispered, and he looked down at her, then over his shoulder to make sure Sayid was nowhere near, and then did so, laying her down on the wet sand and sitting next to her. For some reason, she forgot her need to not touch him and rested her head in his lap.

"So, what do you think, big brother?" she winced as that slipped out. She _had _to stop calling him that, but then it was one of her best nicknames for him, coz it got him squirming. But she couldn't keep shoving the fact that they were legally related into his face if she wanted him to know that she loved him. But maybe she didnt want him to know, wasn't it best to just act normal? Screw normal, she'd already blown that. God, why did this all sound so much like high school?

So that meant she needed to get some new nicknames. Maybe she should go back to Captain America.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't feel his identical wince, and almost missed his lazy reply, "About what?"

She knew that the topic was stupid of her, she knew but she couldn't stop what had already started, "About...Sayid," she sighed despondently.

She felt him shrug, "Uh, he's your new boytoy?"

Her body tensed, "Don't, Boone." He started to protest but she cut him off, "Look, this is nice, right? I don't want to waste tonight arguing with you."

"Okay," he said, slightly confused. He skipped a beat, "But he _is_ your boytoy, right?"

"No, Boone," she rolled her eyes even though he couldn't really see them, "He's just a...just a friend, I guess." He opened his mouth and she said quickly, "I know we kissed, but I don't want anything with him. I told him I did, though, I think...I thought that I wanted a new start. Your buddy Locke made me think I did. But now I'm starting to see sense. But, um...I think he likes me, though."

"You think he--you _think_ he--" Boone sputtered disbelievingly, "Shannon, I cant believe how oblivious you are, of course he damn well likes you! Did you leave him much choice? Ever since we crashed, you've been parading around in skimpy skirts, tanning topless, I swear, Shan...you really led this one on, if he's not even gonna get a pity fuck like I d--" he cut himself off and looked at his hands, ashamed.

_I wore the skirts and went topless for you_, she thought sadly, when what he'd said had sank in and she sat up, so she was facing him. Well, facing the top of his head, his face was buried in his shirt somewhere, and he was avoiding her gaze furiously. "Is that what--Boone! Look at me," he refused and she tilted his head up. She searched his eyes, "God, Boone, I can't beleive you'd think that...listen to me," she pushed his head back to face hers as his eyes had wandered away again shamefully. "God, don't be ashamed. It--it wasn't a pity fuck, okay?"

It was her turn to look away while he stared her down, "What?" he asked, his throat dry. "No Shan, it was, don't lie to m--"

"Boone, you know me better than anyone, you know I'm not lying," she said softly. He shook his head and she nodded, "I wanted it, too. I just, I don't know, but I know I'm...I'm sorry. Not because of what happened," she said quickly, "but because I made you feel this way. I never meant to, I--" she cut herself off and stood up, "Shit," she muttered, turning and walking away.

He sat in the sand, completely bewildered by what she'd said and that she was now not sitting with him.

* * *

_Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in  
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again  
I don't want to run away from this  
I know that I just don't need this

* * *

She found herself outside his shelter, her hands resting on the hem of her skirt, a sheepish look on her face. She had no idea why she was here, but she guessed it was just her second nature to go to whatever seemed like Boone's home._

She shook her head at her thoughts, he wasn't even in there, she'd only just left him on the beach. She felt like she'd be invading his privacy if she went inside without him there.

Shannon looked up and down the beach. It couldn't have been an hour after sundown, yet the only light on the beach was coming from the sticks of fire strategically placed around it. All around her was a flurry of movement, and she scanned the castaways for any sight of Sayid. She thought she was good till she saw him sitting outside his shelter, a moping expression on his face. She pondered whether she should go talk to him, admit that she hadn't been drunk...or go into Boone's tent, think about how she'd changed lately, maybe go to sleep...

The second option sure sounded more promising.

She sighed, wouldn't talking to him be the right thing to do? The less-selfish thing to do? She'd certainly been acting less selfish lately, and if she went and talked to Sayid, wouldn't she be actually proving that she'd changed?

But who was she trying to prove that to? Herself? Sayid? Boone? It wouldn't make a bit of difference to herself if she acted selfless right now, she decided. Sure, she figured that if she wanted Sayid, she'd have to be selfless. But did she really want him?

And to prove to Boone that she wasn't selfish, she'd have to act that way _towards him_. Not Sayid; that would just get him pissed off. Or would it? No, she came to the conclusion, it wouldn't, but it would just make him avoid her again.

And she was tired of being avoided.

She slipped into Boone's tent before Sayid noticed her presence. Sighing, she slid herself into a seating position on his makeshift bed. She dropped her head into her hand and tried to figure out why she was being like this. Why she felt so different about him. Why she had changed.

She hated this change. She hated that she didn't even notice it coming until it had really, really happened. She hated that after all the years she spent knowing that her stepbrother was in love with her, she'd become more like him just because they spent a few weeks crashed on an island. She hated that the island had changed her. She hated that finally, his love had changed her. She hated that she didn't really mind.

But most of all she hated that he probably didn't care anymore. She felt so unloved, for once in her life, _she_ felt unloved by _him_. Two months ago she would have laughed at the thought. She felt like she'd missed her chance, because he'd been in love with her and now she was finally ready to admit that she could return that, and what, he just didn't care about her now? Who came up with that?

It was twisted, and stupid, and she was pissed. She blamed Locke.

But then she realized that that accusation was stupid, too. Because she was the one who'd pushed Boone away.

_God, why did it have to happen like this?_ she thought as she lay back on his 'bed'. She made it through her parents dying, she made it through Sabrina, she made it through living with a stepbrother who was in love with her. She'd even begun to deal with being stranded on a fucking island. But why, for the love of God _why_, did it have to be _now_ that she realized her feelings for Boone? He hated her now, or so she thought, and besides that everyone thought he was her brother. And Sayid only made matters worse.

This was probably just payback for all the bad things she'd done; the scamming, the sinning...the hurtful way she'd chosen to live her life. Only thing was, no one really ever noticed that _she'd_ always been hurting, too. She thought that Boone knew, she really thought he'd understood, but if he was so willing to let go of her, just like that, because his little boyfriend told him to, then maybe he'd never known her at all. Or maybe, he'd just thought that since the abusive guys were fake, her feelings were too.

Damn it. He'd probably never trust her again.

Sawyer was right. She had dug her own grave. In more ways than one.

Maybe she should just accept her fate and go be with Sayid. Where was the point in trying for Boone? She could settle for Sayid and pretend to be happy, after all she'd been doing that most of her life.

Damn this bet-type thing she had with Claire. What in the hell was she supposed to do tomorrow? She couldn't really act on anything with Boone...right?

Shannon curled up in the fetal position, and fell asleep thinking of how much she hated her life.

* * *

Boone didn't move from his seat in the sand for a long time after Shannon had left him. He just did not understand anymore.

Locke kept telling him to let go. That vision was supposed to make him hate Shannon...God, what was wrong with him? Why couldn't he hate her? Why didn't he want her to burn in hell? Why did he not even care that she was a bitch, why did he let her walk all over him? What in the hell was _wrong_ with him?

It was easy, at first. Letting go. Because she was hanging off of Sayid, all singing and smiles. And yeah, he couldn't stand it, but she made it easier. He should have realized that nothing was ever easy with Shannon.

He didn't get her lately. She was like a completely different person. He understood Shannon when she was a bitch, he could read into that and know what she was really thinking. But now, she just seemed so uncertain, that he didn't have a clue.

This stuff with Sayid and Sawyer--what was that? She had started this whole thing, and to him it seemed like such a big...love triangle, or something, that she wanted Sawyer to sort out. And that would actually make sense to him, if he wasn't involved. It was almost as though she liked him or something, but no, that was impossible.

As impossible as being stranded on a desert island? a small voice in his head asked.

_Ye-es,_ he replied testily, then caught himself. Wait a minute, that didn't make sense.

Okay, so what, he reasoned with himself. They were in a compromising situation which had forced Shannon to change. Probably for Sayid, how would Boone know? The only thing that really puzzled him was how she was acting around him, Boone. How he was even involved in the Sawyer stuff. It made no sense to him, and he didn't think he'd ever get answers.

He sighed, stood up, and brushed the sand off his jeans. He made his way up the beach, the castaways thinning out now, most of them gone 'home' to their shelters or just sitting around quietly. Like, Boone saw, Sayid was doing. He almost felt sorry for the guy. Almost. But hey, he thought, you haven't really lived unless you've been scammed by Shannon Rutherford in some way.

Boone shook his head to clear his thoughts of Shannon and Sayid, and wearily entered his shelter. He got into his 'bed' without looking and let out a cry of surprise as he felt someone laying there, asleep. "What the hell!" he yelled somewhat quietly.

Shannon sat up, rubbing one eye. She yawned, "The fuck is going on, asshat? I was sleeping."

"I noticed, Goldilocks, that's my bed," he slid away from her, but maintained his stare.

"Don't try and sound like Sawyer, with the nicknames, it doesn't suit you," she rolled her eyes, more awake.

"Oh, right, my place is as the doormat, sorry, I forgot that one," he glared at her, "Don't see how I could, though, since it's all I've ever been."

She was fully awake now, and glared back at him, "Oh, right, so is this the part where you get all self-deprecating?"

"Look who learned a new word."

"Wow, that was really funny, asshole. Why don't you just go back to your boyfriend, I'm sure he's wondering where you are, you sure you didn't miss a playdate?"

"Why don't _you_ go back to _yours_! Did you happen to forget that this is _my_ bed?"

Her glare faded, "I'm sorry, I just--I don't know. But I didn't want to go back to _my_ shelter, um, Sayid would have seen me--"

He sighed, deflated, "Yeah, that's the only reason why you'd be here."

"What do you mean?" she asked, confused.

"It would have something to do with some other guy...it always has, you never just want to see me."

She looked down, "Maybe I do. Maybe I just can't tell you."

"_Maybe_ I'm not falling for your bullshit any more."

Normally she would have started yelling at that, instead she gave him a sad look, "I know...You don't care any more, either."

He made an annoyed sound, "Will you quit saying that? Telling me how I feel? You don't know, okay, Shannon? You don't know what it's like."

His voice was steadily growing louder, but hers was hushed, "What's it like, Boone?"

He opened his mouth to tell her, but changed his mind. "Don't worry," he growled. "Now are you gonna get out of here so I can go to sleep?"

She sighed, climbing out of his bed and out of his way, "Is Sayid still out there?"

"Yeah," Boone rearranged what little cover he had around himself then looked up at her helpless expression. "You don't want to go out there all sober, right?" When she didn't reply, he rolled his eyes and lifted a cornre of his thin blanket, "Get in." And feeling like a small child, she did, assuming the position on his chest of the previous night when she'd gone to him.

"Boone," she whispered, "You going to Locke tomorrow?"

"Don't think so," he mumbled, his voice husky. "Night, Shan."

"Goodnight," she smiled, slightly happier that he sounded like the old Boone that she remembered, at least in that last sentence. _Maybe things will be clearer, easier, in the morning_, she thought.

* * *

**A/N: Hey, I finished it...finally...God, that feels like it took forever. I just watched "Numbers" again, which I guess should explain why I did the 'timeline' at the top.**

**Nothing much happened this chapter, it was really just a filler (although I think I really packed too much into one day to give it four chapters), I needed to give them a chapter that was just what they thought, because that sets up the next one...which I really want to get out, so pleeease review!**

**And I just realized there wasn't any Sawyer, or Kate, or Claire or anyone else in here. Oops. Next chapter, I guess.**

**Hey, anyone know the name of Shannon's dad? They haven't told us, right?**.


	6. Nothing Else

**A/N: I think that I've been waiting the whole fic to use these lyrics, I think they fit more than others I used. **

**Sorry if this chapter sucked, I had a massive block halfway through. The reviews kept me going, though, thanks :)**

_**

* * *

Chapter 6 - Nothing Else **_

_Desperate for changing  
Starving for truth  
Closer to where I started  
Chasing after you _

I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held onto  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

_I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
And I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you_

_Lifehouse - "Hanging By A Moment"_

* * *

"Sawyer, wake up." Kate said impatiently as she loomed over him, her hands on her hips. 

"Mmmm...I don't wanna..." he moaned, turning onto his side.

"Sawyer!" she shook his arm.

"Noo...I'm sleepin'...go find someone else to rob..." he pulled his arm away.

"Rob?" she shook her head, confused, then grinned, "Sawyer, if you don't wake up this instant I'm putting my clothes back on..."

He sat up immediately and rubbed his eyes, "Huh? What did I miss?" he then realized she was dressed and giggling. "Hey, Freckles, that's not fair." She ignored him and kept giggling. "Yeah, well, I'm up now, ya happy? What d'ya want?"

She gained control of herself, "Sorry, Sawyer...Well, anyway, I was thinking, about you know, the whole Shannon and Sayid and Boone thing. When are we gonna start doing that?"

He rubbed his forehead, trying to dull the small ache that was already forming, "Didn't I tell you tomorrow?"

"If that was supposed to be a hint for me to leave, look around, sunshine. It _is_ tomorrow."

"Leave the nicknames to me," he teased, standing up. "Tomorrow my ass, what the hell time is it?" he went to look outside, "There's hardly anyone awake!" he gave her a steely glare. "You interrupted my sleep way too early, Freckles."

"You went to bed at like sundown! I think you've slept enough," she sighed, sitting down, "Besides, I figured we should start early, form a plan or something."

"Wow, you really are bored, huh?" he sat opposite her as she shrugged. "Well, I don't know. Seems to me all we have to do is sit these young couples down to talk over their differences."

"You mean like an intervention?"

"Yeah, sort of." Sawyer nodded, having just made it up and no real idea of what he was talking about. "So, there's this great clearing down the beach, you may have seen it before, it's where that doctor and the Iraqi tortured that bad, bad southern guy, who's an asshole but actually really charming and good looking?"

Kate rolled her eyes, "Yeah, but only to himself."

"Aw, Freckles, I think Dr. Jackass agrees with me, if you don't."

"I think you can keep dreaming."

"Yeah, sorry, I shouldn't interrupt your perfect dreamworld with the good doctor, where you guys live in the house with the white picket fence, and all, right?"

"I don't think I'll get any white picket fences with _anyone_, not here," she said quietly.

Sawyer grinned, "We can try ta make one, if you want."

She smiled too slightly, "Yeah, sure," she said sarcastically. "So anyway, I think that's a good idea. To take them there."

"Yeah, that's why I suggested it, Freckles."

She rolled her eyes, "So, now we just have to _get_ them there."

"Well, hows about you concentrate on gettin' Metro, an' I'll bring Mohammed an' Monique."

"I thought her name was Madison?" Kate wrinkled her nose.

"Right, right, whatever. The point is, I'll take them, you take Metro, 'kay?"

"Alright, sure. What about Shannon?"

"Uh...She'll follow Met--_Mohammed_, when, uh, she sees him with Mandy...she'll get jealous, right?" He was planning more on Shannon being jealous when she saw _Kate_ with _Boone_.

"Sawyer, it's _Madison_."

"Who cares!" Sawyer threw up his hands in frustration.

"Come to think of it, how come I've never seen or heard of her before?"

"'S'a big island, Freckles...and there are over 40 of us, you can't expect ta know everyone."

"I guess."

"Check that damn manifest if you don't believe me," he bluffed.

She rolled her eyes, "I believe you, Sawyer."

"Great," he said dryly, and they both paused.

"Sawyer..." Kate started, "There's only a small chance that Shannon will follow us out there. I mean, she'll see Sayid with Madison, but you'll be there too. I just don't think that'll be enough to get her to go."

"What are you sayin', darlin'?" Sawyer grumbled.

"Well...she's friends with Claire, isn't she?"

"Baby Momma, right?"

"Yes, the pregnant girl," Kate rolled her eyes, "I could ask Claire to talk Shannon into it..."

"Sure, you do that," Sawyer said, sounding distracted. "Are they all awake?"

"I saw both Claire and Sayid on my way over here. I don't know what Madison looks like, so..."

"And Sticks an' Metro?"

Kate shrugged, "No idea."

"We could go out on the beach. You go talk to Momma and I'll keep an eye out for the brother an' sister."

"And Sayid?"

Sawyer gave a 'do-I-have-to?' groan.

"Sawyer..."

"Yeah, sure...remind me why we're doin' this again?" he asked as they left his tent and wandered up the beach.

"It was your idea!" she cried as they reached a spot between Shannon's shelter, Sayid's, and Boone's. Sawyer sat down and absent-mindedly waved Kate away. She left to find Claire.

* * *

Shannon woke up feeling somewhat happy, for the first time since they'd crashed. She smiled softly, her eyes still closed, and sank deeper into her...Boone? 

Her eyes flew up and then she squeezed them shut again. She'd slept in Boone's bed. _Again_. What was _wrong_ with her? What was with this yo-yo of emotions towards him--one minute, she loved him, the next he was annoying, and the next she just thought of him as a brother.

Okay, so those last two weren't happening all that often.

She sighed sadly. She knew it was wrong. She was confused and she didn't know why she was doing this to herself.

Boone's eyes flicked up. She met them shyly and gave him a small smile, "Hey," she said softly.

He gave her a halfsmile, "Morning."

"Mmm," she agreed, lying her head back down on his chest, "So, what are you doing today?"

He curled his arms around her and pulled her body closer to his, in a sort of hug, "And you care because?"

She shrugged slightly, "You haven't been around much."

"So you keep saying."

"Yeah, coz it's the truth."

"Okay. So, why do you wanna know what I'm doing today?"

"Because, Boone," she sighed, "It's boring as hell here without you to fight with."

He grinned that halfsmile again, "Oh, well, good to know that you need me for something. Even if it _is_ only because I'm the only guy who'll yell at you."

"That's true," Shannon admitted, "No other guy has ever told me I'm wrong half as much as you have. In like, a few hours."

He sighed, "Come on Shannon, it's not like that and you know it."

"It just seems like, sometimes, you're so much better than me, and it's supposed to be common knowledge. Even when you said I couldn't catch a fish, or, you know, fend for myself, remember that? God, what did you say, 'at least you don't have to worry about starving with me taking care of you'? Even a week or so ago you said I was useless."

"You remember what I said way back then?" He hadn't even thought she was listening then. His surprised expression gracefully took on an ashamed tone, "I don't think that any more, Shan. I never really did, I just..." he sighed. "Look, you've really changed while I've been with John. You helped Sayid translate all that French stuff, even if you used that to your advantage to _get_ Sayid. He helped you build your shelter, sure, but you did alot of that yourself. You never were useless, Shan...sometimes dependant, maybe that was just laziness, maybe it was being manipulative, whatever...but you've always been _in_dependant, too. And you're strong, Shan. You've been through a lot. I'm sorry for being an asshole before."

She stared up at him, shocked, mouth slightly open, "You are alot of things, Boone Carlyle, but 'asshole' is not one of them. Never has, never will be." She shook her head. "_Fuck_, hanging around Locke has changed _you_." He opened his mouth but she said quickly, "Not in any drastic way, just you know how to...speak up, now."

He blinked at a few times, deep in thought, "Yeah, that's a, uh, that's a way of putting it."

"So, you..._don't_ think I'm useless?" she asked, hating how hopeful her voice sounded.

His lip slowly curved up into a another halfsmile, "No, Shan. And if you are, I'm no better."

She smiled back at him. "Thanks, Boone. I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"That's because _you've_ actually been nice lately...and hey, I _was_ nice to you. Before, um Sydney, and...stuff..."

She tipped her head to the side, thinking, "Maybe. I can't remember."

Boone rolled his eyes. They both paused. "So, uh, yesterday morning you woke up and wanted Sayid. What do you want this morning? You know what, I'll stick with this 'nice' thing, you can have anythng you want." He grinned.

_You_, she thought helplessly. "Um...well, I'd like a day at a beauty spa and after that a shopping spree on your card and then a night of alcohol and guys," she said quickly.

Boone's grin widened, "Anything...but _that_."

She let out a fake sigh, "I guess, if I can't have that, I'll just have to settle for you."

He laughed a little, "Nice choice, Shan."

"Well, I liked it." She crawled off of him and stood up. He followed reluctantly.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Come down to the beach with me. The sun's just barely up so the sky should be all pretty."

"Ooh, well, I love the sky when it's _all pretty_! There's _nothing_ I'd rather see!" he squealed, adopting a girly voice.

She rolled her eyes and hit his arm, "You're so gay," she smiled and shook her head as they left his shelter.

* * *

Sayid was sitting by his shelter fiddling with some maps and other things, trying to make it look as though he was working. Even though the sun was barely up. Even though he wasn't looking at the maps or anything. 

He sighed as he saw Shannon and Boone exit Boone's tent, for the second time in two days. He had been out all morning, so he could only assume she'd slept there. Sayid wasn't normally a jealous man, and he refused to believe he was jealous now. No. Boone was her _brother_. He supposed he was just curious. They did _act_ curiously, after all, one couldn't help wanting to find out what had happened to them.

He remembered that stupid expression, curiousity killed the cat, and hoped that his curiousity wouldn't kill his relationship with Shannon.

_Just her brother, just her brother, just her brother,_ he repeated over and over in his head.

Sayid watched as Shannon and Boone didn't see him and made their way over to a spot in the sand, facing the sun. Boone sat down and Shannon lay next to him, her head in his lap. Sayid's eyes narrowed. _Just. Her. Brother, _he thought desperately, and turned his eyes downward to stare into the map...occasionally looking back up at them.

* * *

Boone smiled a little, "You sat like this last night too, what's with that?" 

She shrugged, "I don't know, it's comfortable."

"Riiight," he said, smoothing her hair back. She smiled and they both looked up at the sun. "You were right, it is sort of pretty." He said, kind of reluctantly, in a hushed voice.

She grinned, "See, I told you. You should know by now that if you want to get anywhere in life, you have to listen to me."

"Yeah sure, look where that got us."

She glared up at him, "Yeah, I _told_ the pilot to crash the plane," she rolled her eyes.

"So that time you said you were going to the bathroom...I should have known, you hate airplane bathrooms," he smacked his forehead dramatically.

"I _didn't_ say I was going to the bathroom on the plane," she looked at him like he was an idiot.

"I know," he admitted, "I was trying to make the story interesting."

"Well, boy wonder, you kinda failed there."

"So it's okay for you to have lame nicknames, but not me?"

She grinned up at him, "It's okay for me to do anything."

"That's for damn sure," he rolled his eyes.

* * *

Sayid watched them mournfully, it was practically the first time he'd seen Shannon genuinely smiling at Boone, as far as he could remember. And they were laughing and talking and his hand was in her hair and fine, Sayid was maybe a _little_ bit jealous. But it wasn't anything. He was her brother. 

He looked up to see Sawyer walking towards him and sighed. This was exactly what he didn't need.

"Heya, Mohammed," Sawyer said with a forced, unnatural grin, and sat down next to Sayid.

Sayid looked at him in surprise. "Yes?"

"Well, ya coulda been more friendly, there, Aladdin. Nice day, beautiful morning, all that _manners_ crap."

"Maybe I'm just trying to figure out what you are doing here."

"Fine, I'll tell ya," Sawyer grumbled, "I need your help."

"You? Are asking for my help?" Sayid asked incredibly.

"What did I just say, Mohammed?"

"I'm just having a hard time believing that."

"Well, believe it. I see you're also havin' a _hard time_ dealin' with Shannon and Boone talkin' to each other again."

"Excuse me?"

"It's written all over your face. And your body language. And if you had a pen, I'm sure it would be all over your maps here, too."

Sayid looked away, back at Shannon. "Did you come over here for a reason, Sawyer?"

"_Ye-es_, point dexter, like I said, I need your help."

"With what?" Sayid asked, actually giving Sawyer an attentive look. "Technical? Survival?"

"Uhh..." Sawyer raised an eyebrow, lost. "Look, Mohammed, I just need you to come with me into the magic forest to check somethin' out."

Sayid turned back to studying his maps, "I don't know want it is you want, Sawyer, but I don't understand why you are trying to lure me into the jungle. Revenge, perhaps?"

Sawyer threw his hands up in the air, "For Christ's sake!" he cried. "Look--Freckles'll be there, so I ain't gonna do anythin'. I just want to...fine, I'll level with ya." Sayid lowered his papers. "I wanna help you understand Sticks an' Metro."

"Shannon and Boone?" Sayid asked, a little confused.

"Yeah. Aw, just friggin' believe me," Sawyer groaned. "Look, I'm goin' inta the jungle later, after Freckles gets back. You can come with me, or you can stay here. It's your choice."

"I am contemplating it," Sayid went back to ignoring Sawyer, who sighed in complete irritation, and stood up and left.

* * *

Kate sat next to Claire, who was sitting by the water, rubbing her belly. "Hey," Kate said softly. 

"Hi."

"So...um, do you know what Shannon's doing today?"

"Nothing with me, as far as I know."

"Well, look, I'm working with Sawyer to match up a bunch of couples," Kate started and Claire looked on in confusion, "You don't have to understand. Just help me. When you see me take Boone into the forest, make Shannon go. Can you do that?" Kate completely forgot about her earlier plan with Sayid being the better lure.

Claire's confused expression intensified, "Uh...sure."

Kate smiled, "Thanks," she chirped, then stood up and made her way back to Sawyer.

* * *

About an hour or so later, Kate and Sawyer decided that it was time. Kate cornered Boone as he was walking towards the trees, Claire was already sitting with Shannon, and Sawyer was walking over to Sayid. 

"Boone," she said quickly, before he left the beach.

He spun around, a sort of surprised look on his face, "Hey?"

"Hey, what're you doing?"

"I was just gonna go up to the caves, you know, see if I can help with anything," he said, shrugging.

"Oh, okay. Um, I was just wondering if you could come check out this spot I found, tell me if it's good enough for a camp ground."

"Sure," Boone nodded. Kate grinned and gestured for him to follow her.

* * *

Shannon and Claire lay on the beach, staring into the water. Shannon turned onto her side, and propped herself up on one elbow. "So, what have you been up to, Claire?" 

"Nothing much. You know that bald man, Locke? He wants me to help him build something, but other than that--'

"Did you talk to Charlie?" Shannon cut in.

"Not yet, did you talk to your guy?"

Shannon shook her head. "Did you see where Sayid went? Or Boone?"

"Um, I think I saw Boone following Kate through the trees just there."

Shannon frowned, "Oh."

Claire nodded.

"You know what, I think I've gotta go see Jack," Shannon stood up and walked directly towards where Boone and Kate had left. Claire smiled to herself.

* * *

Sawyer and Sayid were stumbling through the forest, "Why does this terrain seem familiar?" 

"I don't know," Sawyer snapped, "Do I _look_ like the local _terrain _expert to you?"

They both fell quiet, making their way through the trees, till Sayid spoke up again, "Did you give Shannon alcohol last night, Sawyer?"

Sawyer gave him a blank look. "Uh?"

"From your stash from the plane. That is what Boone told me."

"_Oh_. _Your_ Shannon. Sticks. Right," Sawyer covered. "Yeah, I did, what about it?"

"What other Shannon would I be talking about?" Sayid shook his head. "And no reason, I was just wondering."

"You thought Metro was lyin'."

"No, I simply...yes, I did."

"Don't blame ya," Sawyer muttered. Sayid cast him a suspicious look but luckily they'd made it to the clearing.

"I knew this area looked familiar!" Sayid turned on Sawyer, "This is next to where I...tortured you." Comprehension dawned on his face, "You're going to return the favor."

"Hell no," Sawyer rolled his eyes. "Not even I would stoop that low. I ain't playin' this game as dirty as you think. Just wait for, uh, Freckles, 'kay Aladdin?"

Sayid rolled his eyes, too, "When are you going to learn my name, Sawyer?"

Sawyer started poking around the bushes, "I ain't even gonna dignify that one, Abdul." Sayid sighed and sat on a rock.

A few minutes later, Kate and Boone stumbled into the clearing. "Hi," Kate said to Sayid.

"Hello," he replied, a confused yet amused expression on his face.

"What the hell is going on here?" Boone cried.

"Well, um, you see--" Kate was cut off by Shannon bursting through the trees.

"How could they? Right under my...keeping it from the whole camp!" she was raging, then she noticed the others, "Wh-what's going on?"

"Yeah," Boone agreed, and he, Shannon, and Sayid turned to Kate and Sawyer, who were now standing side by side.

"Y'all have some--_issues_--to work through," Sawyer announced. Shannon gave him an incredulous look. "Hey, honey, it's damn obvious you ain't gettin' no where by yourself." Shannon crossed her arms over her chest.

"Wait a minute, where's Madison?" Kate asked.

"Who?" the other three chorused.

"I, uh, made her up," Sawyer said. "Sorry, Freckles."

Kate now looked confused, too, "Why?"

"Come on, I'll explain everythin'," Sawyer said, indicating that they should leave, which they did.

"Okay, what's going on?" Boone repeated.

"I don't know," Shannon said, sitting next to Sayid on the rock. Boone stifled an annoyed sigh.

An interesting look crossed Sayid's face, "Sawyer told me that he wanted help me understand the..." he trailed off, staring at them both.

"The what, Sayid?" Shannon asked gently. Boone rolled his eyes.

"The," Sayid cleared his throat, "The two of you," he finished hesitantly.

"There's nothing to understand," Shannon said shortly.

Boone sighed, "Maybe we should just tell him, Shan. The truth this time."

Shannon paled a little, "But--we--me and you, we, we haven't even--I don't know what you want from me, Boone," she said quietly. "I can't risk everything over this if I don't even know what you're thinking."

"Shannon, you do know what I'm thinking," he said gently, sitting on her other side. "Exactly what you told me in Sydney."

She looked up at him, and gave a small nod, "Okay then. Tell him." She stood up and sat on the ground opposite them, her back against a tree.

Sayid gave Boone an amused look as he stumbled into the story. "When I was ten and she was eight, my mom married her dad."

Sayid's mouth fell open, "You aren't related?" He asked in dismay, glancing over at Shannon, who put her head in her hands.

"Nope," Boone took in a deep breath, "And at first, we were friends, and Shannon was all sweet and stuff. Then Mom and her dad grew apart. We rarely saw either of them. We weren't a family at all. So Shannon went all rebellious, drinking and staying out late and smoking and shit. She was about fifteen. And then she started calling on me to bail her out of her shit. Which I did. Then her dad gave her money to start travelling. When she was eighteen, her dad died. There was this big fight with Shan and my mom at the wake, which ended in Shan moving to Paris and my mom giving me a high job in her company so I couldn't follow her. The next two years were filled up with me flying wherever Shannon was to help her escape abusive guys. Then I got the last call." He glanced over to Shannon, who was now looking up at him and blushing. "You wanna take it from here?"

"I met this guy, Brian," she said to Sayid, who was staring back at her, his face impassive. "And he was, well, whatever, Australian, I was in Australia. I moved in with him. Waited a week or so, got him to hit me a bunch of times, called Boone. He came to my rescue, paid Brian off, but um then Brian told him that it was all a scam. And he figured out that they were all scams." She avoided looking at both men and continued absently. "So, then Boone left and me and Brian got in a big fight. I yelled at him, said now I'd lost Boone forever, that it was Brian's fault. He said that if I was so worried about holding onto Boone then why'd I cheat him out of his time and money...it was because I needed his attention...then Brian said that I loved him. Boone. And I said I didn't. And he took Boone's money and kicked me out. I went to this cheap, disgusting bar, got drunk, and thought about everything. And then I went to Boone's hotel...and we, um, we..." she trailed off.

Boone sighed and picked up the story, "She told me that I'd brought the money because I was in love with her. Which was sort of...true. And I said that she was sick and delusional and then we, um..." He stared at Shannon.

"Slept together," she said shortly. Sayid shook his head.

"So. I was right to think there was something between you." He said with no emotion, standing up. Shannon quickly got to her feet, intercepting him before he could leave.

"It--it wasn't...I'm sorry," she said slowly, feeling her new world spinning out of control, and trying to fix things. "I should have told you...but it doesn't matter any more."

Boone looked away, pissed off and let down.

Sayid raised an eyebrow, "How do you mean?"

"I-I," Shannon looked from Sayid to Boone. She bit her lip, "I don't know, okay!" she said loudly. Sayid stepped back. "I don't know why we had sex, I don't know why I want to do it again, I don't know how I feel about either of you and I don't know how either of you feel about me." She looked at Boone, "I know that it would be easier for both of us if we just let go of each other. But I can't do that, and I don't want to." She looked back at Sayid. "Last night I had a choice. I could have gone into Boone's empty tent, or I could have gone over to you. I chose the empty tent. I think that says a lot. It says that I'm always going to need to be with him, whether he's there or not, whether I show it or not, whether he hates me or not. There's always going to be a part of me that feels something for him. And it's not fair to anyone for you and I to be together while I'm only thinking of him." She finished, hoping she'd explained herself properly. Boone just looked confused, and Sayid sighed.

"Why are you telling me this, Shannon?"

"I want you both to know...to know how I feel...once and for all," she bit her lip again, "And I don't want you to hate me," she said quietly.

"It's not as simple as that, Shannon. Not only did you lie to me, you have feelings for the man you led me to believe was your brother. And, effectively, you are breaking up with me. Although we were not officially a couple." Shannon looked down, and Sayid rested his hand against her cheek, saying softly, "But I do not hate you, Shannon. I'm just...disappointed."

She looked up at him with watery eyes. Boone stared at both of them, feeling very pissed off. "I don't understand you, Shannon." She and Sayid jumped apart as if just realizing he was there. "You pretty much just broke up with your little _boyfriend_, when you know nothing will happen with us, because you don't want it to. And even if you did--the whole island thinks we're related. I don't get you."

"I think you two need to have a talk," Sayid said softly. "I'll be on the beach if you want me, Shannon." She opened her mouth to protest. "I do not hate you," he repeated. "No hard feelings?" She nodded and he left.

Shannon looked back over at Boone. He was shaking his head. "We shouldn't have told him."

She sat down next to him on the rock, "It was bound to come out eventually."

He looked at her and she thought that she might have seen that old familiar loving look in his eyes. "You've really changed, Shan."

"Good change or bad change?" she asked with a smile, although she could see in his eyes that he liked it.

He shrugged, "Depends...I've always, um, liked your personality," he struggled to say what he was thinking, "And I still like it...but in a different way."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

He lifted an eyebrow, "Yeah?"

"Being nice is sort of boring."

He laughed, and she smiled, then they just sat there, watching the moment pass and wondering what exactly they were doing. They fell into silence until he voiced their thoughts.

"What's going on, today? I mean, is it just me, or did you...are you and Sayid..." he trailed off.

"Over?" she asked and he nodded. "Yeah, I don't know, I think so. I mean, I don't think he'll even want me after this, so..."

Boone shook his head, "We told him."

"I know," she said softly.

"Why did we tell him?"

"You tell me, genius, it was your idea," she paused, then added. "It sounded like Sawyer was gonna tell Kate, too. So before we know it, Jack'll know, and then Sun, and then Jin and Michael, and then that kid...and Kate'll probably tell Charlie and/or Claire." Shannon sighed, then remembered her bet with Claire. "Oh crap. Oh crap."

"What?" he asked, confused. "I doubt it'll spread like that, I mean, maybe Kate can keep a secret--"

Meanwhile Shannon's thoughts were going a mile a minute; _I can't be here. Not with him. I'll do something that I'll regret. Like Sydney. Except I don't regret Sydney. And what if I regret _not_ doing anything now? Oh shit, I've gotta get away from here. _She stood up, and started to walk away. He jumped to his feet.

"Shan? Shannon, where you going?" He moved after her and she broke into a run. Bewildered, he ran after her, and together they tore through the jungle. They were just about going asrpund in long circles, and she was pretty lost. He was far behind her, but not far enough. She could hear him calling her name, so she kept running.

Not too long after that, she felt her chest tightening. _Oh shit. _On top of the feeling like her lungs were being squeezed, she felt a bunch of jabbing pains along her abdomen. She was so caught up in the pain that she forgot to stop running, but eventually she doubled over and fell to the ground, sitting up slightly, gasping for air. "Shannon? Where'd you go?" she heard Boone yell. She just wheezed and focused on breathing. She couldn't remember what Jack had told her and was frantically gasping through her mouth while her throat tightened. She managed a shrill scream of pain and Boone burst out of the trees, and saw her half-lying against another.

"Shit," he said, quickly kneeling in front of her. Tears were streaming down her pale face and she was panicking. "Remember what Jack said, Shan, you can do this," he said calmly. She shook her head sharply and managed to choke out something about dying. "Don't be stupid, Shan, I won't let you die. Breathe in through your nose," he said, trying desperately to remember what Jack had done. She shook her head again. "Shannon. You can do it, okay? You can fight it. I can't help you by myself, you gotta help me get you through this. In through your nose, do it for me, _please_, Shan." Her expression changed a little. "Can you do this?" she nodded. "Breathe through your nose, in and out, okay, do what I'm doing." He breathed through his nose and she gasped a little more then mimicked him, gritting her teeth. "See, just like before, right? Your color's coming back and everything. Keep breathing through your nose, okay? You're doing great, Shan..."

She focused on her nose and the air coming through, and felt the attack passing. Her chest loosened a little.

"Just keep breathing like that, okay, Shan?"

"Yep," she said weakly, taking in deep breaths through her nose.

"You okay now?" He asked, moving around her to sit next to her.

She nodded, embarrassed, still breathing carefully, "I was stupid," she said, her voice still weak.

"Oh, no, it's okay," he said awkwardly. She leant into him, exhausted, and he lightly put his arms around her. "Just forget about all that, okay, concentrate on breathing."

"I'm fine now," she said, trying to sound it but only sounding feeble.

"Mm hm," he said, letting her catch her breath completely. "You really scared me."

"I'm sorry," she paused, "Since when did you become a doctor?"

"I just did what Jack did," he said humbly.

"You saved my life," she pointed out.

"No. It's my fault you were running anyway." She shook her head and he nodded. "I don't know why, but you were running from me. Right?"

She sighed, annoyed with him yet glad that the air was passing through fine, "Yeah, no, I was being stupid."

He smoothed down her hair, "You're okay now?"

She rolled her eyes but smiled, "Yes, I'm fine." He sighed in relief. Her smile widened, then dropped as she said quietly, "I'm sorry...that I scared you or whatever."

"God, Shannon, I thought you were gonna die. It was more than just _scared_, it was..." how did he explain this? "I don't know who I am without you. You've always been there. If you weren't around anymore, if you-if you died, I don't know what I'd do."

"I know," she whispered. He shook his head. "Yes, I do," she laughed softly, "I feel the same way about you. I'm glad that you're here with me. If I was stuck on this island, and you weren't here...I'd go crazy. I would have died because no one would be around to care about me, make sure I ate, you know, all the stuff that you did. Even though, it's all my fault you were on the plane anyway," she ended miserably.

"It wasn't your fault, Shan." She nodded adamantly and he sighed, "I'm the one that made you take this flight. I think we're even here, okay? John thinks this was fate. That we were meant to crash."

She looked up at him over her shoulder, "Maybe he's right...that at least takes the blame off us." He laughed a little.

"Why'd you run?" he asked abruptly.

"Before? I just, I don't...I didn't know what I was doing." She turned around, twisted out of his arms so she could look at him. "I've got this new feeling, Boone. Whenever you're around I don't know what I'm doing, I'm unsure of everything, I don't want to fuck things up between us but I guess it's too late for that. I just, I...I want things to change, I want to be happy. I want us both to be happy, you know. I want to let go of this _thing_ inside of me that tells me not to love you. But if I do that, I don't know what I'm doing. Love is such a deep feeling, you can totally fall into it, and I don't want to do that, because I don't want to lose you."

He blinked. "What are you trying to say?"

"I don't know!" she cried, frustrated. "But that's why I ran. I don't know what to do with these feelings. I'm confused."

He nodded understandingly, "Me too." And yet again they fell into silence, staring at each other.

"What happens now?" she whispered.

He shrugged, still staring at her, looking as though he was fighting a battle within himself. She stared back at him, a slightly confused look on her face. Then he leaned forward and kissed her.

She was so surprised that she didn't respond. She never though this would happen, she thought she'd lost him.

He was afraid he'd came on too strong, when all of a sudden she was kissing him back, and with her on top of him, they fell backwards against a tree, both of them losing themselves in each other.

**

* * *

A/N: Felt I had to end it there. Next chapter picks up straight after this. Sorry this one's so choppy. Please, please review! (I'm amazed that you guys actually like this.) **

**-Oh, and, thanks for that stuff about her dad, I needed that for another story I'm writing.**


	7. Fading

**Disclaimer: If anyone actually thought I owned Lost, I suggest they take a close look at Abandoned. Yeah, didn't think so.**

**AN: I'm sorry for the wait, hope everyone hasn't given up on me. This chapter needed major work and I didn't have time. Please review, because if you guys think it was too bad then I'll scrap this chapter and start again.

* * *

__****Chapter Seven - Fading**

_Let me feel one more time  
__  
What it feels like to feel  
__  
And break these calluses off of me  
__  
One more time _

_Oh I don't want a thing from you _

_Bet you're tired of me waiting for _

_The scraps to fall off of your table to the ground _

_Cause I just wanna be here now_

_"Breathing" - Lifehouse

* * *

_

She felt his tongue swirling inside her mouth, his hands roaming over her back, under her shirt. She moaned a little in his mouth. She'd been thinking about this lately, she just wanted to feel him again.

_He'd_ kissed _her_. That meant he still wanted her, right? She was still so confused. She had a feeling that this time would be just like the last, they'd forget about it. Except this time, she thought that he'd be the one walking away. She wished everything wasn't so complicated.

She stopped thinking and decided to just start feeling. His fingers threaded through her hair, his lips sucking hers. She reached up and braided her fingers through his hair before running them down his back. She slipped her tongue back up into his mouth.

After a few seconds he pulled away. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he panted slightly.

She smiled, "Yeah, are you?"

He gave her an incredulous look, "Do you think anyone'll come back? Looking for us?"

"Boone, we've ran away from the last place anyone saw us." She paused. "Besides, who cares if they do? They'll get a show, huh?"

He blushed and she grinned, slidng down his chest and unbuckling his belt.

* * *

Kate frowned, "So it was all just a scam, basically, to get Shannon and Boone together?" 

Sawyer shifted uncomfortably, "Not exactly," he finally answered. "I was tryin' to help 'em get through their issues, like I said."

"Oh," she paused. "Why?"

They'd gone back to the beach after leaving Sayid with Shannon and Boone. Sawyer had refused to tell her the story till they were comfortably sitting in his shelter. Then he'd poured out everything, leaving Kate figuring it out.

He sighed, leaning back in his seat. "Not really sure, Freckles. Sticks needed a friend."

"So you--_you_ of all people--chose to be that friend?" Kate interupted. "I don't believe it."

"Christ, why is it so damn hard for y'all to believe that I can be nice?" Sawyer cried, sounding frustrated but a smile was playing on his lips.

Kate shook her head, "Do I really need to answer that question? We're talking about the same girl that you would have let suffocate if I didn't kiss you. And you led us all on thinking you had her medicine when you didn't. You're the one who's acted the bad ass jerk ever since we crashed, and you expect anyone to believe that now, you wanna help people, when there's nothing in it for you?"

Sawyer shrugged, "Yeah? Hell, Freckles, we gotta live together, right? That's becomin' more an' more obvious, with the lack of rescue boats an' ev'rythin'. Might as well help out those who ask me. Not like many do." He paused, "And I felt sorry for the girl. Bein' in love with her stepbrother must be tough."

Kate frowned again, "Are you sure that's it? That she is in love with him?" Sawyer shrugged again. "I just, I don't know, it seems too unreal. Don't you think?"

"Not really. Why are ya thinkin' this?"

Kate sighed, "Look at how she acted around him, like she hated him. It just seems to me that since he's been hanging out with Locke, she just wants his attention again."

Sawyer shook his head, "She's been different, Freckles. You haven't seen it, but I have."

"Okay," Kate said slowly. "Why did you bother making up Madison? Why didn't you just tell me, straight out?"

"I wanted your help. I thought if you knew how Sticks actually felt, you'd refuse."

"Why did you want my help, anyway? Now that I think about it, _why_ did we help them? It's not productive in any way--we go from hunting boar to playing matchmaker."

Sawyer grinned lazily, "Well, I thought you only got involved cause you were desperate to spend some time with me."

Kate looked away, biting her lip. "Likewise, you only wanted to spend time with me." She stared back at him, as if daring him to disagree, but his grin only widened.

"Aw shucks, look at you Freckles, you're all with the figuring it out, aren't ya?" he teased. She rolled her eyes.

* * *

She finally undid his belt and he grabbed her hands, pulling her back up and kissing her again. He flipped them both over so he was on top of her, her back grinding into the dirt. She pushed him up a little so he wouldn't crush her and deepened the kiss, massaging his tongue with hers. 

She ran her fingers through his hair, and he rolled them over again so that she was on top again. _What the fuck_, she thought foggily before forgetting the pointlessness of his actions and releasing his lips to press hers against his neck, which she started sucking gently. "Shan," he moaned softly, grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head, proceeding to undo her bra. She pushed her lips onto his again, interrupting this as she slid his shirt off. He ran his hands over her bare chest as she went back to taking off his pants.

* * *

Sawyer looked out over the beach, "So, Freckles, while we're bein' honest...why aren't ya hangin' around Doctor Jackass?" 

"I don't really know," Kate said slowly, "I guess it's like I told you before...it's getting boring up at the caves. There's nothing to do. I've been talking to Sun, but she's upset about Jin and I can't really comfort her. So, other than talk to Sun my other choices are either Jack or you, or Sayid. Sayid's been preoccupied with Shannon and Jack's got something on his mind...no doubt the raft...so for now, my best option is you."

Sawyer grinned, "I'm gonna take that as a compliment."

Kate rolled her eyes, "Take it however you want to--"

"Kate? What are you doing up here?" Jack's voice interrupted. Kate and Sawyer both looked up to see him walking over to Sawyer's shelter with Sayid in tow. "Sun's been looking for you, and, so have I."

Kate smiled at him, "Really? I'm sorry, I've just been talking to Sawyer pretty much all day, must have lost track of time."

"No need to apologise, Freckles," Sawyer muttered.

Jack glared at him, "What's he not giving you now?" he asked with a sigh.

"Nothing," Kate said, one hand on her hip. "We've had a pretty good day, right Sawyer?"

"Any day with you's a good day, sweet cheeks," Sawyer grinned and Jack scowled, which just made him smile more.

"Well, just as long as you're safe...and you're not suffering too much harrassment from Sawyer..."

"I'm fine, Jack," Kate gave him another smile.

Sayid moved uncomfortably from his stance behind Jack, and Sawyer finally acknowledged him."Heya Arabian Princess, what are ya doin' up here with Wacko Jacko?"

"Sorry, Sayid, didn't see you there," Kate apologised.

"Don't mention it, Kate," Sayid smiled at her, "And I'm flattered that I have another new nickname, Sawyer."

"Sayid actually wanted to talk to the both of you, give you a progress report for something," Jack looked over at Sayid curiously.

"That don't explain why I had to see Doctor Nick," Sawyer muttered.

"Doctor Nick?" Jack shook his head, confused.

"Ain't you ever seen The Simpsons, doc?" Sawyer smirked in disbelief.

"Anyway," Jack looked away from Sawyer, whohe thoughtwasn't talking sense, "I had to talk to Sayid about a battery for the raft--"

"--I still refuse, Jack,I cannot allow you to compromise the safety of--"

"--and so that led us here. Believe me, Sawyer, I didn't wanna see your ugly mug today either."

"My ugly mug?" Sawyer chuckled, "That the best you got, doc?"

Jack frowned, and decided to just ignore him. "Sayid? Progress report?"

"Oh," he looked at Kate and Sawyer, "Your plan, I suppose it worked. I know about their background now. I left her with him."

"Wait--what?" Kate sputtered, "What do you mean?"

"She said she couldn't be with me any more," Sayid shrugged. "We did what was best...but I don't know what's happening with them both now."

"They're still not back," Kate started.

"Which means they're takin' my advice!" Sawyer cried.

"Which was?" Kate asked in a wary tone.

"They're gettin' it on in the Jungle of Mysteries." Sawyer clasped his hands over his stomach while Sayid and Kate grimaced.

"Still getting used to the idea over here, Sawyer," Kate pointed out.

"Who are we talking about?" Jack finally asked, sounding annoyed.

Sayid, Sawyer, and Kate looked at him. "...Shannon and Boone," Sayid answered.

* * *

He kept kissing her but held her hands so she couldn't get his pants off. They struggled a little, until she broke the kiss. "What the hell, Boone?" She asked, her expression and tone unreadable. 

"We can't - we can't do this," he said slowly, his breath hitching.

She rolled her eyes, hoping that she wasn't feeling hurt and trying to hide it if she was. "And you mean what by that?"

"Us, this, it can't happen, we can't -" he caught himself and took a breath, "We aren't supposed to -"

She crawled off of him and grabbed her shirt, holding it over her chest. She scowled at him, "_'We aren't supposed to'_?" She mimicked. "We aren't _fucking supposed_ to? Since when? Who _says_?"

He sat up when she did, running a hand through his hair, a confused expression on his face. "This isn't right," he muttered to himself, "Not - not _now_, not when I -"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she snapped, pulling her shirt back over her head.

"Why are you so pissed off?" he suddenly cried, standing up. She sighed and did the same. "All you do is use me, anyway! Christ, Shan, I'd understand if you just wanted to get laid but there are plenty of guys on this island who'd love to do you, if they haven't already -"

She glared at him, "Shut up, idiot. Fucking listen to yourself, what the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

He blinked at her, seemingly calm. "Sorry, Shan," he said finally. "I just - I'm..." he shook his head. "Confused."

"Yeah well, so am I, but you don't see me flipping out on you."

He ran his hands through his hair again, "Yeah, but - you don't understand..." he trailed off.

She waited for an explanation but when it became evident she'd get none she sighed again, "So what now?"

He looked up at her, as if realizing something. "I have to go." He turned and bent over, picked up his shirt, and pulled it over his head.

"_What_?" she cried, grabbing his arm and making him face her. "Why? What the fuck has gotten into you?"

"I - I'm sorry Shan," he said again, "This just - wasn't supposed to happen. And now I gotta go talk to someone."

"Who? Your girlfriend?" she sneered, dropping his arm.

He shook his head, "No," he smiled a little, and started to turn to walk away.

"Oh, so it's your boyfriend, then?" she asked in a mocking tone.

He faced her again, another half smile on his face, "No, Shan," he walked back over to her and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. "We have to talk later, okay?"

"Why can't we talk now?" she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I gotta see someone. Like I told you."

"Boone--" she started but he turned away.

"Later, okay?" he called over his shoulder.

She stared at his retreating back, helpless and a little angry. She turned away, feeling angrier by the second. "Ugh," she muttered, knocking her fist against a tree trunk. She hated that he left her and she hated that she cared.

Shannon sighed, leaning her back against the tree, and looked up at the stretch of sky through the treetops. A bird flew above them and she suddenly felt very small. Where the hell was she, anyway?

* * *

Jack stared blankly back at Sayid, "What?" his expression changed and he laughed a little, "Okay. Who were you _really_ talking about?" 

Sawyer shook his head, grinning at Jack's apparent stupidity. Kate rolled her eyes at Sawyer and Sayid sighed at the behavior of them both. Kate realized that neither Sayid nor Sawyer were correcting Jack so she decided to. "He wasn't kidding, Jack. We're talking about Shannon and Boo--"

"But they're brother and sister," Jack interrupted, "Are you telling me that Boone's sleeping with his sister?"

"Nope," Sawyer answered lazily. Jack opened his mouth furiously but Sawyer continued, "Calm down, Jacky. They ain't related."

Jack blinked in confusion, "But--but they've both said..."

"I know," Kate said gently, "But they're not. Apparently, Boone's mother married Shannon's father twelve years ago."

"And not too long ago, Sticks' daddy died. So they ain't even legally related no more."

Jack furrowed his eyebrows, "But why would they lie to us?"

Kate shrugged, "Who knows? They've got this big, 'I hate you, I love you' thing going on. I guess now we're just stuck in the middle."

Jack was still trying to comprehend it, "So how do we know this?"

"Well, see, Sticks came an' told me their story--" Sawyer started.

"Wait, wait," Jack said, smiling a cocky grin, like he thought this was a dream or something. "Shannon? _Shannon_ came to _you_ and _willingly_ told _you_...well, _anything_?"

"_Yes_," Sawyer said testily, seemingly unwilling to tell Jack any more.

Jack was looking confused again, "I'm not buying it, Sawyer."

Sawyer sighed, "'Course you're not. Look, I don't have ta justify myself or anyone else's actions to you, _doc_," he said in a kind of snarl, then calmed down a little, "Person'lly, I think you're just pissed 'cause someone didn't tell the great hero their information."

Jack stared at him, then shook his head, "Shut up, Sawyer," he snapped, and turned and walked out of Sawyer's shelter. Kate sighed and followed him.

Sayid looked over at Sawyer, "I don't know why you did it. But I am glad, in a way, that I now know the truth."

"What are you tryin' to say, Ali?" Sawyer rubbed his forehead, not surprised to find another headache starting up. "Are you flirtin' with me?" He asked sarcastically.

Sayid sighed, but tried to smile at the same time. It came out as more of a grimace. "What I'm saying, is, thank you, Sawyer." He gave another small smile, and left the shelter, too.

Sawyer glared after him, and pressed his hand against his head.

* * *

Boone stepped around another few trees and saw Locke talking to Claire. They both looked up when they noticed him. Claire stood up. "I need to go...talk to Charlie," she mumbled, and with her hand holding up her stomach, she stumbled through the trees. 

Locke wiped his hands on his pants, "What can I do for you, Boone?"

Boone sank down onto a log, and put his head in his hands, then took a deep breath and looked up at Locke. "I was letting go of Shannon. I was doing it, John. But I've really screwed it up now."

Locke gave him a questioning look, "What's happened?"

"I--I just--I've done the opposite...opposite of letting go of her, I nearly destroyed everything...and now she thinks, God, I don't know what she thinks. I just left her. And, I don't - I don't know. I don't think I want to let go any more, John. She doesn't want me to. She's different now."

"Boone," Locke sighed, sitting next to him on the log. "Are you sure about this? Are you sure she's really changed? Have you thought this through?"

Boone shook his head. "No. It was really kind of...uh...spontaneous."

Locke sighed again, "See, Boone, on this island, everyone gets a second chance. Now, I don't know much about what you're going through, relationships or siblings or otherwise, but I do know this--when you had that vision, you were not happy with Shannon. The survival on this island of you both depends on you letting go. Being with Shannon will bring nothing but misery. You saw her with Sayid. She's happy with him. She's still dependant on you but this is only because you're her last tie to civilization, to what she knows. Soon she'll grow to be completely reliant on her new ties, most of all Sayid. And you'll be forgotten. Rather than get hurt then, why don't you just let go now? Save yourself the heartache. And as your vision told you, not letting go could led to the death of either one of you. I know it may seem drastic, but..."

"No, John, I get it," Boone nodded. "She'll be happier without me weighing her down." He turned and started to walk back to the beach.

"When you get to the beach, tell Claire she's welcome back whenever she feels like it," Locke called after him.

"Will do," Boone said over his shoulder.

* * *

"Where the hell am I?" Shannon asked herself, poking through the trees. She sighed; she'd been walking around for a while now, and it must be afternoon, she figured, because the sun was lower in the sky. 

She hadn't noticed the sun before, now that she saw it she knew which way the beach was in, because of the direction and position of the sun when she'd been tanning. She grinned, Boone had thought it was stupid of her to spend her days sun baking, but now that was what would lead her back.

She grew angrier thinking of Boone. How could he just leave her here, in the middle of nowhere? How was she supposed to find her way back? According to him, she didn't know anything about tracking. She could have been eaten by a polar bear or something...

She shook her head, trying to shove down her anger, and headed in the direction of the sun.

* * *

Jack and Kate were standing at the edge of where the trees met the beach. Kate had finally caught up to him after he'd stormed out of Sawyer's shelter. 

She sighed and placed a hand on Jack's arm, "What's wrong, Jack?"

"It's nothing, Kate," he said, shaking his head. They paused. "Are you going to be at the caves with me tomorrow?"

"Do you want me there?" she asked with a smile.

He smiled too, and gave her a small nod, "Yeah, I think - " he was interrupted by someone bursting out of the trees right behind them. Jack hurried towards them, Kate followed quickly.

"Shannon?" Jack asked.

She rolled her eyes, "Who does it look like?" she asked, her throat dry.

"I'll get you some water," Kate said, hurrying away.

Jack felt Shannon's forehead. She swatted his hand away. "I'm fine, Jack. I was just a little lost, but I found my way back alright. I followed the sun."

Jack grinned slightly, "Um, good work then, I guess." Kate came running back with the water.

"Here you are, Shannon."

Shannon sighed, "Thanks," she said, taking a sip.

"So, um...where's Boone?" Kate asked tentatively.

Shannon flushed, "How should I know? He left me out there, okay?"

"Why'd he do that?" Kate asked. "Did you two--"

"We didn't do anything," Shannon snapped.

Jack glanced over at Kate, "I hate to say it, but I think Sawyer might have been right."

"Right? Right about what?" Shannon asked quickly, looking between the both of them.

Kate cleared her throat, "Um...Shannon, we know about you and Boone."

"What about us?" Shannon crossed her arms over her chest, "You don't know anything."

"Yes, we do," Jack insisted, "Sawyer told us."

"Well, he told me," Kate added immediately, "Sayid and I told Jack."

Shannon colored, "So, you guys know...everything?" She asked weakly.

"Everything? No, I only know that you two aren't related," Jack said, confused. "And that you guys have some sort of relationship problem."

"Sawyer didn't tell me everything," Kate said, "Just, um, Sydney, and some other stuff."

"Oh," Shannon sounded deflated.

"We won't tell anyone, Shannon," Jack said gently, "Not if you don't want us to."

"Okay," she said in a small voice. "Thanks. I'm just gonna go to my shelter now." Jack and Kate nodded, and Shannon traipsed over the sand, shaking her head. How could Sawyer and Sayid just tell them? _She didn't want anyone to know._

She reached her shelter. A corner off the plastic had fallen down. She sighed, picked up the plastic, and tied the rope around the stick again, remembering the last time she'd done so, just the other day. Sayid was smiling down on her and complimenting her, and she'd felt somewhat happy. That was before everything changed. Before she was so confused.

She'd lost everything with Boone. There was something wrong between them - something even _more_ wrong than the obvious - and she wasn't sure she wanted to found out what it was.

She carefully lifted up the corner of her tent and slid inside, laying down on her 'bed'. She shook her head, tired, angry, and confused.

Maybe it would be easier if she just got with Sayid, if she just sorted things out with him, and forgot about her stupid prick of a stepbrother.

She shuddered slightly, she didn't want that, she wanted Boone, but she was still pissed at him for just leaving her in the middle of nowhere.

She made a small, disgusted noise. They were stuck on an island, under pretty dire circumstances, and the most pressing matter on her mind was who she should sleep with.

That was pathetic.

She suddenly didn't feel so tired any more, and remembered that she had to meet Claire, and she still hadn't really talked to Boone. She rolled her eyes, hoisted herself up, and left her shelter, heading towards his.

* * *

Jack helped Kate step around a low tree branch, they were making their way over to the caves. "You think she's okay?" 

"Who?" Kate asked, pulling a twig out of her hair. "Shannon?"

Jack nodded. "I just--she seemed pretty upset--maybe I should go back, see if--"

Kate gave him a look and said gently, "You don't have to protect everyone, you know. I'm sure she's able to cope on her own for now."

Jack sighed, "You're right, it's just that, I'm the doctor, you know? If she's got heat stroke or something from being in the sun all day, without water..."

Kate smiled at him gently, "She used to spend every second of the day tanning, I'm sure she's used to the sun." Jack opened his mouth to protest again, but she said quickly, "And if what's on her mind gets to be too much, she'll tell Sawyer."

Jack made a face, but sighed again, "I know." He paused. "Are you sure we shouldn't go back?"

Kate smiled again, "Come on, Jack," she said, her hand on his back as she led him.

* * *

Shannon reached Boone's tent. "Boone?" She called softly, tentatively. 

The plastic in front of her shifted and he appeared, giving her a small, indifferent smile that she didn't like. He stepped aside to let her in, and they stood opposite each other, somewhat uncomfortable.

She stepped closer to him, suddenly overcome by anger at being left in the jungle alone, and slapped him hard across the cheek.

"Christ, Shannon!" He cried, grabbing his face. "What the - "

"What the fuck was that, asshole?" she hissed, his reddening cheek only angering her further, "You just leave me all by my fucking self? I could have been killed by whatever the hell it is knocking down the trees, and you don't even give a fuck because you have to see your precious _boyfriend_! But then, I guess you wouldn't have really been much help if we _were_ attacked, you couldn't fight your way out of a crowd at one of your stupid marches let alone anything real, I guess _that's_ why you left me, huh Boone? You're just a fucking pussy."

"First of all Shannon there's alot of shit you don't know about me now, alot I can do that you don't know about - "

"Don't want to hear about your _techniques_ on your boyfriend thank you very much - "

"God Shannon you know what I mean, I've learnt to - "

"What? Grow some balls? I doubt it." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Jesus, Shannon, I could say the same to you. How long have we been on this island now? And you're pissed I left you alone? If it had been Kate out there, she would have been fine - "

"Guess what? I'm not fucking _Kate_, asshole. I'm your sister! You're supposed to actually _care_ about me - "

"See that's just it, isn't it Shannon," he interrupted her again. "If you're my sister, why are you so pissed that I left you before we could sleep together?"

"Uh, _hello_, Mr Cocky, I'm _pissed_ because you _left_ me _to die_!" She yelled, her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, sure, Shannon," he smirked, arms crossed, studying her.

"God, you're an ass," she hissed. "Are you going to actually tell me why you just freaking left?"

He sighed, the arrogant smirk gone, "I can't do this."

Her anger slowly melted into confusion, and she blinked, trying to comprehend his meaning but couldn't. She shook her head at him to continue.

"This. Us. We can't do anything, Shannon. Be anything. You'll be happier without me." He really sounded like he believed what he was saying.

"Do I look happy now?" she snapped.

"You will be. You were happy with Sayid, so - "

"Yeah, but thanks to you, shithead, he's not interested any more, is he?"

"I don't see how that's my fault. But it's beside the point, go screw Sawyer or someone, there are plenty of guys on this island Shannon, why me?"

She glared at him, "To tell you the truth I have no fucking idea, you were a fun toy in Sydney but I guess Locke's broken you now."

He frowned, "What, just like how you're a _fun toy_ to every male here? Everyone knows you're the slut here, you just make it even more obvious what with your prancing around in tiny skirts and sunbaking topless. Drooling over Sayid was more than a little pathetic, though."

"Shut the fuck up Boone, you're talking shit. I'm not in the mood for your mind games."

He gave a hollow chuckle, "_My_ mind games? What the hell happened in Sydney, Shannon? I guess you've just shown how incapable of actually loving anyone you really are, and because of that you'll never be loved, and you deserve it, you bitch."

She slapped him again on the same cheek and even though her heart wasn't really in it a small welt was beginning to show. She felt slight remorse but hid it from him as she stormed out of his tent. The minute her back was turned he collapsed onto his bed, his head in his hands, but she didn't see. She leant against a tree as soon as she was far enough away from him, panting a little. _He couldn't have meant that._ She felt the tears prick at her eyes but she ignored them. Still, the small thought that wouldn't go away escaped her in a whisper, "He was supposed to love me."

She took a few minutes to compose herself, because she remembered that she still had to meet Claire.

* * *

"I didn't really do it, Shannon," Claire confessed as they sat in the sand. "I told him I liked him but I didn't say what as. We're very definitely friends, though." She said in a bubbly voice, smiling. 

Shannon forced out a tight smile, "That's okay, Claire."

"And you?" Claire asked.

"Well...we kissed," she said shyly, not used to giving away information about herself and Boone. Not that Claire knew who she was talking about.

Claire grinned, "Well, that's more than Charlie and I."

"Yeah, but, we also had a fight. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me."

"Oh come on," Claire scoffed, "You have fights with _Boone_ all the time, surely you can handle this?"

Shannon squinted at the other woman, slightly suspicious, then shook her head, "It's different," she said in a small voice, shrugging.

Claire nodded. "It's okay. I get it." They sat in silence. "So I guess we both lost the bet," Claire said blandly.

"I guess so," Shannon agreed without emotion. They looked at each other.

"It was a dumb idea," Claire said with a smile.

Shannon shrugged, "So just forget about it?"

"Yeah. But we do have to try to fix things up. Especially you. Okay?"

Shannon nodded, "Deal."

* * *

**AN: I'm planning to concentrate on Boone in chapter nine. Plus I'm pulling back on the secondary couples just because I want them to fit in with the show.**

**Oh, and thanks goes to Marielle (msmith4815), because if she hadn't got me thinking that it's been a while between updates this never would have been out. In case you guys haven't guessed, I'm really insecure about this chapter especially, it feels wrong. Please tell me what you think.**


	8. Dreams

_**Chapter Eight - Dreams**_

* * *

_Forget about the fight to wear the crown of scars  
'Cause you've already won  
Forget the pain and leave the tears behind you  
Bury underneath your feet the remains  
Of what's been left behind  
'Cause you have got a long, long way to run  
But now you dance the rest of the way  
And you don't look back  
Can you hear that angel singing  
As you rise _

Will you fall against the wall that you have built with your own hands  
When you trip upon the thorns that you have tied your legs together with  
When you walk upon thin ice that you know you know you should not be walking  
Why do you wonder why that you fell through?

_"Crown Of Scars" - Lifehouse

* * *

_

Shannon left Claire after about ten minutes. She really needed to be alone, to think about what Boone had said. It looked like Sawyer's shelter was empty, so she sat a few metres away from that, down the beach. She ran her fingers through the sand absently.

She knew he'd talked to Locke after he'd left her, there was no other option. She wondered if Locke knew about them, hadn't Boone said he didn't? _Well, it won't be long now before he finds out anyway,_ she thought, groaning. Why had she told Sawyer everything? What the hell was wrong with her? And - Sayid probably thought she was disgusting, so any chance for friendship with him was gone. She didn't really care what Kate thought of her, and it didn't seem as though Jack knew about anything further than the fact that they weren't related.

Why the secrecy? Why couldn't she have just Claire the truth when she'd asked? She realized that on the island, event after stupid event passed by and she could have prevented them if she'd thought about it. But then, she was never fantastic with thinking about the consequences of her actions. She shouldn't have said Boone was her brother, she shouldn't have been a bitch to him, she shouldn't have started hanging around Sayid, she should definitely not have kissed Sayid, and she shouldn't have told Sawyer. But she couldn't take it back, and reminiscing about her carelessness wasn't going to change anything.

She knew that, despite Locke, somewhere deep down Boone still loved her. She figured that he'd been such an ass before because he was trying to convince himself to feel differently. And as much as he infuriated her, she sort of thought that was cute. What he said didn't _really _hurt her, now that she thought about it. It was more the fact that he'd _tried_ to hurt her. But still, she did find it cute somewhat, like an adorable puppy trying to get a bone down from a table two metres taller than him, and she was standing there watching him, smirking, because she _could_ help but chose not to. Then, she'd always felt like that with Boone, he was the little puppy she liked to play with.

She shook her head. That was why he was being this way afterall, he didn't want to be a puppy any more. Because of Locke. Or maybe not. How long did she really expect him to drool over her for, anyway? Did she just assume he'd forever be her slave, and never grow a backbone?

She kept her gaze focused on the ocean as someone walked out past her and stood there. "Sticks," he acknowledged.

She pushed as much fury as she could muster into an annoyed sigh as her response.

"I guess you talked to the good docter, huh?" Sawyer said lazily.

Shannon glared up at him, "Who else have you told?" she snapped.

"Look Sticks," he faced her, "I promised Freckles I'd tell her what was goin' on after we led you guys into the Magic Forest. An' as for Jackass -"

"What, he was eavesdropping?" Shannon said sarcastically, getting to her feet.

Sawyer gave an exasperated sigh, "I slipped up."

"It's not in your nature to beg for forgiveness, is it?" she asked disdainfully.

"I ain't your dear Metro, darlin'."

She peered at him, her arms folded, and eventually sighed, "It's okay, Sawyer. I forgive you."

He did a small double take, "What? Why?"

She shrugged, smirking, "You owe me." He rolled his eyes. "I guess I still want someone to talk to."

He gave her a small smile and led her to his shelter that was lit with a stick of fire, "Come on in." They sat in their usual places.

She gave him a curious look, "Why are you so nice to me?"

"Curiousity killed the cat, Sticks," he said absently.

She rolled her eyes, "No, really."

He scratched his head, "I donno, we're friends ain't we?"

She looked thoughtful, "Yeah, but...why?"

"Hey, Sticks, I always liked ya," he said offhandedly, "So you gonna tell me what's on your mind or not?"

She let out a breath, "I had a fight with Boone."

"Here I was expectin' somethin' diff'rent." Sawyer settled back in his chair, as usual.

Shannon rolled her eyes again, "It _was_ different," she insisted, then sighed. "He hates me now."

"Sticks, he doesn't hate you," Sawyer said in a patient voice that had hint of impatience, too, "An' you know it. He doesn't wanna be at your beck an' call anymore."

"I know," she said quietly, "It doesn't make me not miss him."

Sawyer paused, "Have you told him that?"

"Well, I tried to," she started, mentally retracing her steps. "Okay, I was _going_ to, but I was pissed at him for something else."

"_Okay_," Sawyer drawled, "Why don't ya ever tell him the truth, Sticks? Why the coverin' up?"

She shrugged sadly, "I don't know."

"Ya know," he said thoughtfully, "You don't gotta be all 'oh I love you, blah blah blah'...You don't _have_ to make yourself vulnerable."

She flinched, "What are you talking about?"

"You're like me, Sticks. I know how you work. You don't wanna get hurt so you lie. But you don't gotta lie to Metro, that's his problem, he's sick of the lies. That's my guess anyway."

Shannon shifted uncomfortably, "So what are you actually suggesting?"

Sawyer shrugged, "Honesty. Tell him you miss him. Then walk away. Don't push it. He'll come to you."

"How do you know?" she asked, hating how her voice resembled a five year old asking if Santa was real.

"I seen the way he looks at ya, darlin'." Sawyer reached over and picked up a magazine. "Now, would ya mind leavin' before I completely turn into an agony aunt?"

Shannon smiled. "Thanks Sawyer." She stood up.

As she was leaving he called her back, "Sticks?" she turned to face him. "I'm sorry for tellin' Jackass an' Freckles your secret," he said honestly.

Shannon smiled again, "I already forgave you. But it means alot that you said that. I guess we are friends?"

Sawyer nodded, "Yeah." He looked down at his magazine, and Shannon, still smiling, left his shelter.

She ambled down the beach to Boone's shelter, not exactly sure why she was heading there. But when she reached it, she typically found it empty. She narrowed her eyes and let out a small angry sigh, stalking away from the tent. As she walked she ran into Hurley, or more like Hurley ran into her. He was walking fast, his eyes fixated on something she couldn't see. Regardless, he walked straight into her, and she nearly fell over.

"Watch it," she snapped.

"Whoa, hey, hey," he said, holding her by the arm to help regain her balance, "Uh, sorry." He sounded like he was trying to hide something, and a little nervous.

Shannon sighed, "Yeah, it's okay." They stared at each other awkwardly.

"Uh, so, you going somewhere?"

"Have you seen Boone?" she asked in her old bitchy voice, surprising herself.

"Boone?" Hurley repeated.

"Yeah, you know, kinda short, rosy cheeks - " she started sarcastically.

"I know who you're talking about," Hurley said quickly, "Haven't seen him."

Shannon gave him a suspicious look. He didn't want to talk to her, she could tell. "Uh, okay."

"Yeah. Sayid's over there with Jack, though, if you want him." Hurley pointed to where Sayid was waving his hands around as he explained something.

"Why would I want - oh, right - uh, thanks," she remembered. Hurley didn't know about their...break up? "You're trying to get rid of me." She added.

"No, I, uh," Hurley stammered. "Yeah."

"Okay, whatever, see you," Shannon rolled her eyes and walked over to Sayid, leaving Hurley looking after her.

He shook his head, "Weird," he muttered before hurrying back to the caves.

As soon as she approached, Jack and Sayid looked at her, silent. "Don't let me stop you," she rolled her eyes again.

"You feeling better?" Jack asked her tenderly.

"Fine, thanks," she said tightly, watching Sayid, who was avoiding her gaze.

"Okay, I uh, should probably go check on Michael, I think he said Walt had a cold," Jack said quickly befre dashing away.

Sayid was holding a bunch of plastic junk, "He is lying," he said softly, turning the junk over as he looked at it.

"Yeah." She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. They stood in silence as he tinkered with his toy.

Finally he looked up at her, "Why are you here, Shannon?" he asked wearily. "What do you want from me?"

"You said no hard feelings!" she cried. "I thought - I thought we could be friends."

He gave her a dubious look, then sighed. "Alright. But I have just one question, Shannon."

"Yeah?"

"Last night on the beach...were you really drunk?"

"Yes," she said immediately, so used to lying that she couldn't really control it.

Sayid sighed, "Alright." He paused. "Did you have any distinct purpose for coming over here or were your intentions simply to - "

"I just want to be friends," Shannon said stubbornly, not sure why she was pushing this.

Sayid sighed, and placed his peice of plastic junk next to his other stuff, "Of course we can be friends, Shannon," he said, stepping closer and brushing his hand against her arm. "Didn't I already tell you that?"

Shannon shrugged, and attempted a smile, "Just making sure."

* * *

Boone was filling two water bottles at the caves. He sat on a rock and soaked a peice of cloth in the water, bringing it up to his warm, almost still stinging cheek. He sighed. He didn't want Shannon to hate him. 

"Hey man," Hurley slid down next to him. "Hey, dude, your cheek looks sort of, more rosy on that side. And, ouch. What happened?"

"Oh, uh, ran into a tree." Boone winced, taking the cloth off his face.

"Hate it when that happens," Hurley sort of smirked.

"Yeah, so uh, what are you up to?" Boone asked conversationally.

"Me?" He asked, surprised. "Uh, not much, dude, there's the raft, and just...thinking, you know...you mind if I ask you something?"

Boone nodded, "Sure," he pressed the cloth back onto his cheek.

Hurley shifted sort of nervously, "Do you believe in curses? Like, bad luck?"

Boone dropped the cloth again, slowly. "Curses? I uh - never really thought about it. I guess the crash was sort of bad luck, if you're superstitious. But I don't think anyone's _cursed_."

"Yeah, no, guess not." Hurley looked away.

"Why the question?"

"Oh, you know, just thinkin'." Hurley nodded.

Boone gave a tight nod, too, then touched the cloth to his cheek again.

Hurley breathed out in an almost whistle, "_Dude_, that was one feisty tree."

Boone let out a low chuckle, "Yeah, you're telling me."

"So, uh - oh, dude, before I forget, Shannon was looking for you."

Boone did a double take, "What?"

"Yeah," Hurley said, not seeing why he was surprised. "I ran into her before I came here. Literally, man. She seemed a little shook up...asked if I'd seen you."

"So she doesn't hate me," Boone quietly mused.

"Definitely didn't seem it, dude," Hurley shook his head. "And then she saw Sayid and Jack, so yeah, she's with Sayid I'd guess."

Boone nodded curtly, "Right. Uh, of course. Look, man, I've got my water so I'd better be going. Thanks for telling me, you know, about Shannon."

"No problem dude," Hurley said absently. Boone grabbed his bottles and left the caves.

* * *

Jack was sitting next to the signal fire, staring into the flames, as Boone came out through the trees. "Jack!" he said, reaching him. "Hey, man. Do you know where Shannon is?" 

"Hey, Boone," Jack said, and as Boone got closer, he reached out to inspect the other man's face. "Nasty mark you got there. What happened?"

"Feisty tree," Boone smiled. "So, um, you seen Shannon?"

"Uh, last I saw, she was..." he looked up the beach, squinted, and pointed out past Charlie playing his guitar to Shannon and Sayid. "There."

"Thanks man," Boone said, walking up the beach. Shannon was laughing at something Sayid was saying. He walked up behind her, neither of them noticing this presence. "Hey, Shan," he said quietly.

She spun around and glared at him. Sayid jumped a little, "Boone."

"Shannon, can I talk to you?"

She looked over at Sayid, then nodded, following Boone a few metres away. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about what I said before. I didn't mean it."

She frowned, "Yes you did. You were trying to hurt me."

He looked away, "I'm still sorry."

She moved closer to him, cupping his non-swollen cheek in her hand, "It's okay," she whispered. They looked at each other until she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I miss you, Boone." She stepped back quickly, following Sawyer's advice.

He looked at her, confused. "Shan, I - "

She smiled softly, the wind blowing her hair back from her face. "I've gotta go, see you around, okay?"

He nodded dumbly and watched her walk away. Strings from Charlie's guitar filtered through the air and Boone sighed, shaking his head.

* * *

She sat on the beach alone. She figured it was about eight or nine, considering how dark it was, but if they really were close to Fiji like the pilot had apparently said, then it depended on Fiji's daylight hours, right? And she didn't know those, and it was really was too much thinking for her right now. Especially considering time didn't really matter here. 

She stared out at the dark blue waves crashing into shore. She supposed that if Sawyer was right, all she had to do was wait, and eventually things would work out. But she couldn't do that, the whole patience thing. She proved that in Sydney by going to his hotel room - she couldn't just _wait_ for his forgiveness. She just hoped that she'd changed since then.

She knew one thing - she didn't need to fight for him, to prove to him that he should be with her. He already knew that he should, and she didn't need to fight because she'd already won. Now she just had to wait for him to get over this phase with Locke. And while she waited, she had to find a way of getting over everything that had happened in the past, and she knew that she had a long road ahead of her if she wanted to be with Boone. And she knew it would sometimes be hard, and sometimes be scary. But overall she thought that by the end she'd finally be happy.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for the reviews last chapter. I think it took me less than a month to update this time. Yay. Anyway, I think there are only four more chapters to go, so I'll try to write them fast. Hopefully I'll have time.**


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